The World Is MINE!@!!

Sons of suicides seldom do well.
Characteristically, they find life lacking a certain zing.
(God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater)

And the Summer of Our Discontent is fading into the Fall from a really High Building w/out a Mixed Metaphorical Paddle.

Fuck.

Figures.

~5493459043=.9

Glenn Beck is a Smug Cunt. Let’s get that out in the OPEN for the White Eyed and Bush-y tailed.

Cunt³

Tell him to his face, but Grifters only have Eyes for the Jaundiced. He ain’t interested in-

One…Two…Rat-a-TAT-TAT!

Speaking of Failing Livers-

Old people really suck.

Once you get to the point you no longer recognize you smell like Cat Litter, it’s time to Die or at the very least, Move out of the Goddamn Way.

Too late for “Restorations,” or “Refudiating Cackles of Rads.”

Not right for the Old to Decide for the Young-

Let us get on with Living.

I know.

I’m cruel.

Bullshit.

I’m merely cuing you to the Farce right there in front of your Fucking Whatever-

Although I seldom choose sides, this time I’ve made a Selection, and the Winner is-

the

Glock 19.

Because nothing says-

Welcome, Pair of Mormon dudes riding Mountain Bikes wearing white short sleeve shirts, long pants, and ties in 97° weather, better than Nineteen Full Metal Jacket Cap Peelers.

Sure, I’d love to Convert…

Seriously, Mormonism is Scientology with an even less believable Story Line. (Yeah, you heard me, Fuck L. Ron Ron).

Thetans or Lamanites?

Wow, tough choice.

I’ll get back to you after I self-Lobotomize.

God Almighty.

What are people to do these days?

Tosspots abound, War, Greed,  Reverse Racism, Art is being Murdered faster than the Rain Forests, AND there Ain’t Shit on TV except a couple Toffee Nosed Mardies queefing out dialogue obviously written by a Quasi-Retarded Wannabe Poof going through an Artificially Inseminated After School Specialized Tragedy.

What the fuck they Expect people to think, Feel, Say?

I’m here, to tell you-

But Exactly what

I haven’t the faintest Fucking Idea.

This is why Jesus invented Napalm.

I will remind you, Kindly Passengers, they’re Mocking more than MLK’s memory.

They’re eating away, as termites, the very foundation.

GOP the Party of Lincoln?

Champions of “States Rights” Murdered Lincoln FIRST!

Can’t have It Your Way.

Reason ain’t dead.

Yet.

Don’t think about too much though. No need to worry.

Instead-

Dance ’round like Hypnotized Chickens.

Or weep Controllably, and always with Goldline in Your

My baby’s so vain she is almost a Mirror.

Hanging on the Corner this morning-

Some dude wearing an Anaheim of Los Angeles California @ Fresno State Tech University of Southern Colorado Near (But not Too Near) the Border with Utah Angels cap gave me a Couple Golden Tablets.

Said-

“This Shit is Waaaay Better than that Last Shit, and that Last Shit was the Shit, and that Ain’t No Shit, brother.”

Latter Days, Saint!

Seriously, I’m not shittin’ you.

Anyway, I hope he wasn’t lying cuz’ I already Dropped’em, and once they’re Broken they cannot be Returned.

Course, you can always do a Re-Write

If for whatever reason, you forgot what your Seer Stone Said for You to Say They Said to the People You Previously Said They Said Something Different than What You’re Currently Saying.

<(Pssst. Don’t forget your “Hat”)>

Some of this is neither here nor there, but some of it is.

Looking through the Looking Glass-

The words I use mean exactly as I intend.

Exactly when I intend them.

Nothing more. Nothing less.

If you find them difficult, that is a problem with Process over which:

I have no Control.

This is the way the world ends

This is the way the world ends

This is the way the world ends

Not with a Ham

But a Banana.

And now…Your Moment of Non-Sequiturial Zen-

In the non-news,  Chuck Norris’ vapid rendition of “The Star Spangled Banner” was thankfully interrupted by swarming butterflies hellbent on preventing Chuck from butchering our beloved anthem any further. In an interview moments after the his embarrassing exit stage left, Chuck blankly blamed the events on the fact that children no longer pray in public schools, and instead are taught the Atheist Philosophy of Evolution. “Obviously,” he went on, “if children were not being exposed to the teachings of Satan, Nature (An extension of God’s hand) would not be punishing mankind (Specifically 60 something year old men with orange skin, and hair pieces).”From there, Chuck meandered into a story about St. Peter riding a Triceratops to the peak of Mt. Sinai. According, to “Walker- No, seriously, someone get me a Walker,” the Triceratops, and St. Pete met up in the Garden of Eden, as Pete was there attempting to convince Eve apples are Passé, and that the wave of the future is Star Fruit. (Turns out St. Pete invested all his Bingo Winnings in a Star Fruit Orchard, Plantation, Bush, place where Star Fruit are grown).After what seemed like minutes, Chuck went silent, and stared into the camera sharing his vast emotional palette with America, and just as he was about to start up again-Smash, Crash, BANG! An anvil fell from the sky, crushing him to Peanut Butter. No word out of Salt Lake City as to whether or not today’s events are considered an act of God’s Divine Grace.

~ by fairlane on September 1, 2010.

One Response to “The World Is MINE!@!!”

  1. Unfortunately, sons of bitches usually do very well.

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