Social Conservatives and the Republican Party: Til’ Death Do Us Part


The Republican Party is dead, buried. Send flowers, throw a flag on the casket, raise your rifles and say Goodbye. Oh I know, but “they’re awfully close” to getting it all back. Yeah? Nosfertau ran around for centuries before someone finally drove a stake through his empty, dead heart.

No, I say the Republicans are finished. They may carry on with Business as Usual, but pay careful attention, they no longer cast a shadow. They’re a tiger pacing frantically  in their cage unwilling to accept their days as Tiger are long gone.

Yep, I’m sticking with it, the GOP is fucking finished. Their cage grows smaller and smaller, the bars closing in until eventually no light will be able to enter.

And they brought it on themselves didn’t they? Sure they gained, at least temporarily, from their gamble. They were a match made in Heaven. And who can forget the “Republican Revolution” only 10 years ago? They stood tall then didn’t they? Old Newt and Dick, the progenitors of “The Contract on America”, arm in arm on the steps of Congress declaring “Victory”! They were sweet, those days. And she was never more beautiful then at that moment.

Who could have imagined the fireworks would dissipate so quickly, leaving nothing but smoke and some debris for the grounds crew to pick up on their way out?

I hear them now, those tinny voices decrying such an untimely demise, their gummy bear bodies melting into an amorphous glob. “Don’t count us out!”, they squeal. Oh, I’m not. But your “GOP Revolution” is DOA.

But that’s what happens when you, as they say, “Dance with the Devil”.  And did you ever dance. “Look at the way they gaze into one another’s eyes”, we remarked. Of all our celebrity couples it was you. You who would restore our hope , but in the end you failed us just like the others. (When was the first time you knew the next time would be the last time?)

And the Dems? Yes, they know that precarious dance as well don’t they? But she left them long ago, following Jim Crow out the door without so much as a “Goodbye and Good Luck”.

The paparazzi is already lining up itching, waiting. What is it they say about women like her, “Can’t win with’em, can’t win without’em”?

The divorce is going to be ugly. “But I’m leaving her!” you exclaim. Doesn’t matter, she’s taking half. “Maybe we can work it out.” Maybe, she has nowhere to go this time. But she doesn’t like you to have friends, and right now you need them more than ever. It’s all or nothing with her and you’re bankrupt. Whatever collateral you may have had the Kegger and Chief pissed away.

What’s that you Social Darwinists like to say? Life is a bitch, get over it, move on, pick yourself up by the boot straps? Bitter, bitter irony. I know it’s not fair. You were fighting the “good fight” there for a while weren’t you?Your momma and daddy would be proud if they were here.

Pack it in Reps, common sense is waiting in the wings, and she doesn’t dance with fools. In the end it’s better that way for everyone involved.

I’ll try to remember to send a card and some flowers.


~ by fairlane on May 24, 2007.

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