Republican Senator Faces Questioning After Information Surfaces He Had Sex With A… Woman?!!
“Well, there’s a creep in the cellar that I’m gonna let in and he eats in the alley and keeps track of my sins.”
(“Aayyyyy, I dig Chicks! Seriously, I do. What?”)
Senator David Vitter , R-Louisiana, is in the news after his telephone number was released by Deborah Jeane Palfrey on her website.
Palfrey, aka the “D.C. Madame“, is accused of Racketeering by Federal Prosecutors for her involvement in running a “Prostitution Ring.”
Turns out old Davey Boy was one of her former clients.
This is quite a predicament for Republicans as they are torn over how they should respond.
On one hand this is yet another one in their “Flock” of Moralistic Parrots who apparently lives by the code of “Do who I say not who I do.” (Davey Boy once compared the specter of Homosexual Marriage to Hurricane Katrina. He also campaigned as a “Defender of the Sanctity of Marriage.” Maybe he meant other people’s marriages).
On the other hand, Davey did have sex with a girl. That’s right, a Girl! Not a Congressional Page or some drug addicted male Prostitute. And there was no mention of Meth-Amphetamine either.
In fact, some in the media and around Washington are questioning if Davey is really a Republican, and not a “Liberal” in Parrot’s clothing.
It took Republicans over 25 years to construct this Illusion/Delusion that they are the Party of “Morality and Family Values”, but all that hard work (Drug addicts railing on the radio, Skinny psychopaths joking about killing people and Preachers acting out their Self-hating fantasies on television) is falling by the wayside as the walls crumble from all sides.
Davey said, “I’m Really really really really sorry, and I’m so embarrassed I got caught…uh, I mean, that I sinned, and hurt my wife’s feelings. I’ve told Jesus and he said I’m forgiven.”
This is where the convenience of Religion comes into play. Davey can say, “God forgives me,” and that’s enough for the Fundies who believe sins are only unforgivable when committed by their Political Opponents.
Sure Reps spent $456 Trillion “proving” Clinton got a blow job, but you see that’s “different.” That was “Immoral”, Davey just made a “Mistake.” And besides Clinton “Lied” about it.
Of course, I didn’t hear Old Davey going public with his affair until after his phone number popped up on the Internet. Maybe he was getting around to it but got sidetracked because he was so busy “Defending the Sanctity of Marriage.”
Oh those little Republican Heads, God lov’em. They’re so cute when they get all squirmy.
Did I mention Prostitution is illegal? Well it is, and not just the prostituting part, but the having sex with a Prostitute part as well. Anyone who’s ever watched “Cops” knows exactly what I’m talking about.
Apparently the Cops have such a tight grip on crime they have nothing better to do than arrest poor schmucks who can’t get laid unless they pay for it. Thank God too, because who knows what other kind of “Deranged and Immoral” behaviors they might be engaging in. Dare I say, Masturbation?
But Davey won’t be going to the Hoosegow any time soon as I’m sure the Statute of Limitations is long ago expired. We’ll just have to wait for the next episode of “Cops” to see those “Perverts” get what they deserve.
Thank God for that at least…