Chuck Norris and His Roundhouse for Jesus (Also, Bruce Lee Kicks Chuck’s Ass)

Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris wants the Bible to be a part of the Public School Curriculum, and he’ll kick anyone’s ass who disagrees. As long as they agree to stand “really still,” and promise not to hit back because Chuck Norris is at least 140 years old.

I’m wondering what Christians think of having Chuck Norris, or Walker Texas Jesus as we call him here at Jonestown, on their side. Yes, he used to be a badass, but those days are long over, and now he’s reduced to infomercials, and dying his hair, including those on his face, to keep that “youthful” appearance. (Unfortunately, the two inch deep wrinkles around his eyes betray him).

Pay careful attention to Chuck and his facial expressions or complete lack thereof. It’s no wonder he supports Bush, they both have absolutely zero substance and remind me of the “Bowl of Steam” served to Woody Allen in “Take the Money and Run.

My favorite memory of Chuck Norris is in the movie “Way of the Dragon,” where Bruce Lee beats the shit out of Chuck and his back hair. (I included the famous scene as an added bonus).

They’re both lucky I wasn’t around back in the day. “Block this mother fucker!”

Chuck Norris in, “The Way of the Jesus”


Bra55Monkey

 

“The Way of the Dragon”


Jecimar

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~ by fairlane on July 29, 2007.

5 Responses to “Chuck Norris and His Roundhouse for Jesus (Also, Bruce Lee Kicks Chuck’s Ass)”

  1. Yikes, Chuck Norris and the Bible eh?

    Sounds like a stretch, both his being an adversary for and the chance of the bible being introduced ever in a class room in this day and age.

    Onward christian soldiers……..

  2. i love how chuck texas hairy back ranger gets his a$$ beat royally by bruce. lovely! i don’t think any of his kicks and punches will get the Bible into schools, but i betcha bruce could have done it.

  3. Every time I hear his name, the same question pops into my head. Who the hell is this guy and why is he famous or at least kinda famous? I really can’t tell you one thing about him other than what I read hear. So he wants the bible slapped in the face of every kid. Sounds like the stunt of some old guy who can’t get attention any other way.

  4. POP- I want you to know I got spam specifically targeted to you.

    pissingfever.com

    Pretty cool huh?

    Coffee- You clearly misunderestimate the power of the Chuck.

    Raffi- I hope you’re correct, but see my comment for Coffee.

    Chuck’s kicks are plodding whereas Bruce is “fast as lightning.”

  5. I got a hit on this post from “Chuck Norris’ Hairy Back.”

    Yes.

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