Chuck Norris and His Roundhouse for Jesus (Also, Bruce Lee Kicks Chuck’s Ass)
Chuck Norris wants the Bible to be a part of the Public School Curriculum, and he’ll kick anyone’s ass who disagrees. As long as they agree to stand “really still,” and promise not to hit back because Chuck Norris is at least 140 years old.
I’m wondering what Christians think of having Chuck Norris, or Walker Texas Jesus as we call him here at Jonestown, on their side. Yes, he used to be a badass, but those days are long over, and now he’s reduced to infomercials, and dying his hair, including those on his face, to keep that “youthful” appearance. (Unfortunately, the two inch deep wrinkles around his eyes betray him).
Pay careful attention to Chuck and his facial expressions or complete lack thereof. It’s no wonder he supports Bush, they both have absolutely zero substance and remind me of the “Bowl of Steam” served to Woody Allen in “Take the Money and Run.”
My favorite memory of Chuck Norris is in the movie “Way of the Dragon,” where Bruce Lee beats the shit out of Chuck and his back hair. (I included the famous scene as an added bonus).
They’re both lucky I wasn’t around back in the day. “Block this mother fucker!”
Chuck Norris in, “The Way of the Jesus”