Jonestown’s Extreme Home Makeover: Ty Pennington Found Naked and Passed Out in Basement
Jonestown, in case you missed it, is going through a few changes. We’re not finished just yet, but we’re getting close. (I.N.S. raided our Facility yesterday and we lost over half our workforce. “Illegal Aliens? What? Are you sure about that?” The irony is the Chief Agent was Mexican. So much for “Brotherly Love”).
I’m definitely digging their work thus far. This is our fourth theme in three months, but I think we finally found one that won’t fuck with my ADD. The colors are darker, and it has defined Borders. (Speaking of Borders). I like Borders, except the ones invented by people who divide sections of land pretending they “own” them. (I’m fairly certain that rock is older than you dick weed, and long after you’re gone it will still be sitting there). I digress.
I like the Border because it helps me focus. The previous theme had the cool Header deal, but the rest of it was wide open, and I could never figure out where to focus my eyes. (People with ADD have difficulty prioritizing sensory information. I freak out in wide open spaces because I have no idea where to focus my attention. Side note; If you have ADD, do not, and I repeat do not, ever go to Wyoming. That place will warp your fucking mind. Not to mention the entire state is fucking deserted).
We also changed the way we write “Jonestown.” That’s the fifth time we’ve changed that:
2. Jones Town
3. JONES TOWN
We’re nothing if not consistent.
And the Kandinsky’s? Shit, I love me some Wassily. Genius with color.
Bella loves the new header. She thinks it’s so cool her “Barbies” are on my “puter.” Thank God she can’t read yet or her mother would be turning me into C.P.S.
A few loose ends remain untied, but that will be taken care of in the next few days. First, we have to get an Attorney for our work crew.
“Illegal Aliens” indeed.
I wonder what Crazy Horse would have to say about that?