President Bush Treated For Lyme Disease and Laura Is…
A report surfaced today that President Bush was treated for Lyme Disease last August, and that after being treated with anti-biotics the President is showing no lingering signs or symptoms.
In a statement issued early this morning, President Bush assured the American public that the disease had no impact on his ability to function as President.
“Uh, heh, eh, uh, huh? eh, uh, I don’t even like Limes. There’s uh, heh, heh, um, uh, nothing to worry about, it’s all a big misunderestimation. Heh, heh, eh, uh, huh?, uh…What’s important is that man and Limes learn to live together. And uh, huh? heh, uh, I know the human being and Limes can co-exist peacefully.”
President Bush then shared a photo with Journalists to kick off his new Program to promote peace between man and Lime, “The Fruit Based Initiative.”
In other Bush family related news, Laura Bush was on “The Tonight Show” garnering support for her “Mother’s Little Helper Campaign.”
“There’s simply no reason fer people ta be unhappy in this day and age of Big Pharma. Ah mean, lookit this thang. Ya could nibble it all day long. It’s like a fuckin’ wet dream.”
Mrs. Bush went on to describe in great detail what her wet dream would actually look like.
Later in this week the Bush’s plan on hosting a dinner at the White House for the Drug and the Lime Industries to promote Human-Citrus Peace and to encourage Big Pharma to start living up to its name.
“There’s simply no reason fer pills ta be masured in mg.’s,” said the First Lady, “We’re all adults here. If I can’t handle a 2 or 3 pound tablet a’ Xanax, then I ain’t got no bizness bein’ in the White House. Now Do I?”
God Bless America!