Jonestown Reaches a Milestone, and Then Proceeds To Curse For No Apparent Reason

fairlane127.jpgSometime in the next hour or so Jonestown will hit the first of what I hope will be many landmarks, 10,000 Hits, and I’d like to thank all those responsible:

1) My 10th grade English Teacher who wrote a letter to my dad saying that although I’m very bright I don’t seem to want to come to class, at least not without reeking like a walking Bong Hit.

Thanks Mrs. M. for your concern, and although the letter did nothing to change my attendance habits or my weed habit (Did you ever think it was because your lame ass school wasn’t challenging me?) I still remember the day I came home, and my dad was holding that Fucking letter.

Goddamn snitch!

2) My favorite B movie icon Chuck Norris. Chuck you can’t act and your shoulders used to be so fucking hairy, before you started waxing or whatever in the Hell you do, they puffed out your tee-shirt.

You are living proof my friend that fame and wealth have nothing to do with talent.

You are truly inspiring.

3) Those two preppy fuckers who were in my advanced Biology class. (One used to wear a Bow-Tie to school).

I can’t tell you how satisfying it was to see you several years after we graduated, and to you hear you say you’d dropped out of College so you could follow the Grateful Dead.

Remember when you told me I should quit focusing so much on scoring some Blue Haired Hawaiian and focus more on my grades?

What a couple of Wanks.

4) My Republican mother. Thanks for teaching me to think for myself. I guess you never imagined it would backfire on you, huh? That’ll learn ya’.


And last but not least…

Everyone who visits here either regularly or irregularly, I appreciate it.

My first month I really did think about deleting my blog almost every day. Jonestown is my fourth blog, but the only one I got beyond just naming. (I think the one before was named, “Eat My Hot Steaming Shit Dickwads” or was it “Rainbows and Pixie Sticks?” Whatever).

I’ve “met” some interesting people over the past couple of months, and I hope to meet many more. We’re in a war, and I plan to keep running my Big Ass mouth until it’s over or until Natassia Kinski finally answers one of my letters and agrees to have “Coffee.” (Preferably, I’d like to have both).

So again, let me say, Gracias amigos y amigas.

Special thanks to Legal Eagle, Reasic, Blue Gal, Tengrain, PhydeauxSpeaks, CoffeeMessiah, “B” at Realitology,”C”at MyThoughtWorld (Wingnut Alert, but Chad is a great guy. Just avoid the other “writers” on his blog. Son of a bitch!),
and “PoP” at My Morning Maritini for all your comments and support. (I know they are not the only ones, but most have been around for a while, and some from the beginning).

And can we please do something about this AssHat in the White House? Please?

Oh. Someone once asked, “Why Jonestown?”

Look at these Kool-Aid dispensing Mother Fuckers running the world.

That’s why.

Drink Up!


~ by fairlane on August 10, 2007.

14 Responses to “Jonestown Reaches a Milestone, and Then Proceeds To Curse For No Apparent Reason”

  1. Anytime a writer can combine Chuck Norris’ back waxing and 10,000 hits in the same post, well, it’s a tour de force.

    Congrats, Fairlane: good job, well done.



  2. I just noticed I refer to myself not in the third person, but as a place. Hmm.

    Ten- Thanks man.

    You know, you can combine anything if you really believe in yourself, and also it helps if you don’t care if it makes any logical sense.

    Anyone can think in a straight line. Thinking in Rhombic triacontahedrons and Square Anti-prisms, now there’s a real challenge.

  3. I hope I can be of assistance, Fairlane. Sestakastan is 47 hits away from 10,000 as well.

  4. cool beans, fairlane. i’m about 800 behind you, but i’ve had to enlist Tengrain and Dr. Monkey from time to time, so i’m not sure it’ll count, lol.

    but seriously, kudos. glad you’re doing what you do!

  5. Congratz on the hits. I thought Jonestown was a reference to the kick ass film by that name (it’s a real sleeper).

    The scientifically impossible I do right away
    The spiritually miraculous takes a bit longer

  6. Morse- Unfortunately, you were number 9,999, and failed to win our Grand Prize, but if it makes you feel any better the Grand Prize is a handful of Chuck Norris’ back hair.

    Thanks for the support.

    Commander- I opened up 25 tabs on my browser, and have been going back and forth to your blog all night.

    Thanks for the comment, and link.

    Clapso- Never seen the film. I’ll check it out.

  7. Congrats, fairlane! I’m more than happy to help add to your hit total on a regular basis.

  8. Listen! Hearing the sound of hands clapping? Those are my hands and the clapping is for you being here on the internet tubes. You’ve made me laugh big time and you’ve made me cry a bit too. Not a whole lot of people can do that just with their writing.

    Don’t you dare delete your blog, ’cause if you do, that would make me cry big time. You know me well enough now to know that laughing makes my day.

    Hey, did I win?

  9. Phy- I truly appreciate it buddy. You’re good people.

    PoP- I’m not deleting it any time soon. It’s become rather enjoyable.

    Thank you for your encouraging words.

  10. Wowee, although I have a hitometer, I believe mine’s around 8900, FWIW.

    You know although I get around more in the winter months due to this rather cold feel of this red state up N of you, I do look in when I can and enjoy the read…..

    Cheers! CM

  11. Coffee- I definitely appreciate your visits and comments. I enjoy the serenity at your place after dealing with the madhouse known as “Jonestown.”

    Sometimes I get sick of myself. I’m such a fucking smartass.


  12. Way to go man. Keep up the surreality. The world needs more smart-asses and shit-stirrers!

  13. Thanks B. I’ll do my best. Actually being a smart ass comes quite naturally. It’s civility where I need the work.

    Glad to see you’re posting again.

    Peace Bro.

  14. Congratulations homey! Allow me ta break out da Cocoa Puffs or sompin’. Thanks for the insanity, the sincerity, and the Rice Kripsy Teats! No…I meant to say teats. It’s one of three things (at least): a great name for a blog; a great name for a band; or a really sick word picture (Snap! Crackle! POP!). Seriously though, since you hate strokes and all, I still think your pen is ICBM.

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