Man Accused of Having Sex With A Goat…
A (Human) man is set to be arraigned later this week for having sex with a goat.
The witness in the case, although still in shock, agreed to grant Jonestown a brief Interview, “I can’t get the picture out of my head. I’m walking out to my barn and the next thing I know I catch something moving frantically out of the corner of my eye. I turn to look, and I see that freak screwing My Pet Goat. What in the Hell is this world coming to Buddy?”
(The Witness in a 2001 photo with his Pet Goat)
The alleged Perpetrator claims that he in fact was not Fucking a goat, but “Milking it.” Unfortunately for him, the Judge in the case was raised in Appalachia and is hip to hillbilly Euphemisms. “Milking it, Fucking it I don’t give a Rat’s ass, you will not insult me in my court room sir. See you on Friday.”
The Judge then ordered the Defendant to stay away from Barns, Petting Zoos, and any and all Republican Fund Raisers.
(The impact of this case is already being felt throughout the U.S., as Republican women are flooding DNA Testing Centers insisting their husbands be tested, just in case).
In yet another Jonestown exclusive, on which you’ve come to rely so heavily, we were present as the man was led out of the Court House, and snapped this photo.
See You Soon You Goat Fucking Asshole!
The alleged victim in the case, who this man has viciously raped for years, was unavailable for comment.
All we have is this dated photo-