Jenna Bush Get’s Engaged: White Bread For Everyone!!

fairlane127.jpgJenna “Unnecessary Public Displaying Of” Bush is getting married, and the world is agasp in anticipation.

In fact, people are so excited the announcement of her wedding was the number one “Political Story” on Yahoo today. Hell, I didn’t even know she was in Politics. Of course she does have all the Bush prerequisites: 1) Marginal Intelligence- Check. 2) Run ins with the Law- Check. 3) Potential alcohol and/or drug problem- Check. Damn she’s a shoe in, maybe she could run for Mayor in Beaver, Oregon.

I am so bloody sick of this Chromosomally Challenged family I’m about to Fucking Puke! The Bushs are like Everlasting Gobstoppers, they never go away.

How long have these assholes been in the White House? Twenty five years?


“Daddy, I Do Not want an Everlasting Gobstopper, and I Do Not want one RIGHT NOW!”

I can only imagine the pain many single men in Middle America are going through right about now. All those nights practicing what they’d say to Jenna if ever given the opportunity. “Dawg, she’s hot and I garntee I could git’n her pants. Hell, she’s a slut, and she likes Beer. Yeeeee Haaaawww!”

Alas, the Blue Bloods might sleep around, but they marry their own in the end. Sorry Middle America, but by now you should be used to it. In fact, I’d think you’d be tired of getting Fucked by the Bush Family at this point.

I know I sure am, but the Bush family is worse than a case of Crabs, they just won’t go away.

There are some, including myself, who worry that Bush may not ever leave Office. That maybe he’ll declare Martial Law, and anoint himself “King a’ Merica.” I think even my mother, a lifelong Republican, is getting a little worried.

We spoke the other day and I jokingly said, “Make sure your Passport is up to date,” and she very seriously said that not only is her Passport updated, but that we also have a place to go if necessary. (I’m glad we have somewhere to go, but I expected her to chastise me for being Paranoid).

So, is the upcoming wedding more than just a couple of High Dollar Rednecks gettin’ hitched? Is this our future Royal Family? Princess Jenna? (Doesn’t that sound like it was made in NASCAR Heaven? “Jenna” I hate that fucking hillbilly name). Will this be our Queen Mother?

Her “Beautiful Mind?” Are you fucking kidding me?

Or is this the Queen Mother?

Look in her eyes and tell me she isn’t Stoned out of Her Fucking Skull. I used to work with people just like her. She has that 1000 yard stare, but we all know these people avoid combat like the Plague so I’m fairly confident in saying she didn’t pick that up in Nam. Her face is completely devoid of any substance. Her affect dead, plastic.

Not only does she have to live with the fact that she killed her boyfriend when she was a young woman, but everyday she’s reminded that she married a Remorseless, Spineless, Mindless, Sniveling Assmunch who smirks when he talks about Real People getting Killed in a War his Cowardly Ass Started.

The man on the Left is Ted Bundy. Tell me that ain’t Fucking Frightening. The Chimp looks exactly like him. Exactly Fucking like him.

These are the people admired by millions of Americans or should I say “Mericans.” Poor, never going to get anywhere Shitsmokers think the Bush Family is “Admirable, Honorable, Virtuous, Brave, Blah, blah blah blah blah.”

They think Jenna Toeleefield is “Hot.” They think Laura “Rollin’ on My Benzos” is “Hot.” They wish Barb “Eat the Poor” Bush was their mother. In other words, they are Fucking Morons.

These are the people who lived in the House with Massa’, and who scolded those of us in the Field for Sassin’ and Backtalkin’. They’re Sell-outs Shuckin’ and Jivin’ their way into the Massas good graces. And because of them we’re stuck with this Pack of Thieves for God knows how long.

And I’m Bloody sick of them.










~ by fairlane on August 17, 2007.

16 Responses to “Jenna Bush Get’s Engaged: White Bread For Everyone!!”

  1. Are you sure Barbara isn’t Bush senior in drag?

  2. […] Court Link to Article white house Jenna Bush Get’s Engaged: White Bread For Everyone!! » This excerpt is […]

  3. The only Jenna I’m interested in can take a facial like no bodies buisness!

    Jenna Bush tried to follow her lead but Grandma sent the Gestapo in to put an end to that silliness.

    Speaking of Grandma that crazy ass old wrinkled up George Washington imposter has said some of the most horrible and frightening things that I have ever heard.

    To imagine a former first lady saying that the people suffering in the wake of Hurricane Katrina were just fine in the detestable condition of that stadium because they, “are not used to anything better” was a big red flag that the haves and have nots are light years apart. She might as well have said, “Let them eat cake”. Now to suggest that she needn’t be concerned about the deaths of Americans who in her opinion are below her own Social position is deplorable!

    Perhaps ‘Madam Le Guilotine’ has been silent for far too long!!

  4. […] Link to Article george w bush Jenna Bush Get’s Engaged: White Bread For Everyone!! » This excerpt […]

  5. Jenna schmenna anything to take the focus off of anything real. When I read up top there – the #1 political story, I was horrified. Nothing ceases to amaze and disgust me with this crew.

    I was reading a comment over at Distributorcap by Morse of Republic of Sestakastan and it mentioned the great old Dead Kennedy’s song “Too Drunk To Fuck”. Which made me wish I had thought of that to use as a caption over at Tengrain’s yesterday.

    On to other matters, wow even your mom is ready to haul ass out of here, despite sounding like someone who would not typically fall into this category.

    These are indeed the worst of times. Thank God for the blogosphere. Yes He’s a Big G to me- I don’t really give a crap if any of you agree. Be who you are, no theocracy from FranIam. Period. Ever. OK?

  6. i’m still waiting for a ‘jenna does jericho’ video. but, of course, with her dad being ted bundy, i’d rather watch snuff films with barbara bush (aka the cream of wheat dude) making cameos.

  7. Lisa- she’s something that’s for sure, as to what I have no idea.

    Lorenzo- or should i say mr. jamison. it’s appaling, and people either ignore it or dismiss it. those two statements by barb “the impaler” tell you everything you need to know about her and her family. we’re nothing to her, peons who can be replaced with a phone call. she has more important things to worry about than we poor field negroes.

    fran- number 1 story in politics no less. forget the possible 250 killed in iraq, the shitty state of our country, etc etc nope jenna getting married is what grabs the attention of the average schmuck who still thinks iraq was involved in the attacks on 9/11.

    maybe the french are right and americans are just plain stupid.

    and there’s no need to explain your religious choice. be who you are is an excellent philosophy.

    raffi- good to see you around again. i was looking for a picture of him when he was young because it dawned on me how much they look alike. (they look exactly alike).

    i’m going to trace back to when bush first became a public figure. i wonder if it will coincide with bundy’s execution.

  8. although i admit to having a post regarding Jenna-schmenna’s engagement, i have to agree that these Children of the Corny are way beyond the threshold of normal tolerance. that such a facile, irrelevant story tops the list in politics does indeed suggest that the “liberal media” has nothing better to do than worship one generation of Boosh after another. it’s embarrassing.

    i mean, heaven forbid they or the public actually…think.

  9. commander- when people like you or i or ten et al write about such matters it’s funny, entertaining, truthful. these shitheels in the msm write about it like it’s actually important. there is a distinct difference between us and them.

    they’re fodder as far as i’m concerned.

  10. ROFL! One point though. It turns out that jenna’s great granddad MARRIED money! Yup the bushes are nouveau riche!

    May they all lose every penny they have stolen!

    The scientifically impossible I do right away
    The spiritually miraculous takes a bit longer

  11. Thanks for making the story almost amusing.

  12. Fairlane,

    I’m betting that all the bridesmaids will be giving dollar knobbers in the parking lot outside the church.



  13. Clap- You mean they are not authentic Blue Bloods? I wonder if they’re in the Social Register?

    Pyg- I do my best. This was a tough one for sure, but it might get easier if the rumors of her pregnancy turn out to be true.

    Ten- How could you not mention “Jenna Toeleefield?” That was my tribute to your “Svetlana Beaverhausen.”

    I’m truly hurt.

  14. wow
    you take no prisoners mr.
    and for that i am proud.

    but i am more proud of your milestone with your blog.


    hope to see many more of them soon.

  15. Thanks Victoria, I hope to see many more as well.

    I was raised not to beat around the proverbial bush (and in this story that phrase has so many different connotations). Why be meek about it? They hate me too, and my daughter, and my sister, and pretty much everyone I know in the entire world.

    This is the one place, at least for now, where I can vent my frustration without fear of being locked up or getting my skull fractured.

    There are plenty of people who write in a “civilized manner.”

  16. For God’s sake, Splay the Bitch before she reproduces!!

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