Jonestown Wins! Jonestown Wins! (I Just Hope Satan Doesn’t Find Out)

fairlane127.jpgOur friend Jolly Roger at Reconstitution 2.0 has bestowed upon me specifically, and Jonestown in general the Highly Esteemed-


Pissant Provocateur Award or “The Pissy”

I’ll admit at first I was like, “Damn dog you ain’t got to be calling me a Pissant and shit,” but then after I read about the award I was like, “Damn dog you ain’t got to be calling me a Pissant and shit.”

Seriously, this is an award that I accept with a great deal of Humility. I never expected to win any awards for my blog unless it was the “Fuck off, and stop commenting on my blog you fucking smart ass son of a bitch!,” Award.

And now I have two.

How you like them apples? (What in the fuck does that even mean?)

This is from the award’s creator, Divided We Stand.

I am, of course, a hack, a flamer, a rock thrower, and it isn’t something I’m uncomfortable with. Look at what happens every time you try to take the “high road” with people that include among their operatives Karl Rove, Michelle Malkin, Maggie Gallagher, Sean “Slanthead” Hannity, Rush “Oxy-Moron” Limbaugh, and my personal favorite, Ann Cuntler. What do you get for being nice to them (and their brain-dead fans?) You get dumped on, and you walk away stinking. The hell with that. Let somebody more virtuous than me take the high road; I’m quite comfortable in the gutter.

I seriously dislike that damn over enunciating Michelle Malkin.

You’re not White! Give it Up! They’re Using You and Your Self-Loathing Parody!

I can’t understand why Jolly would choose me for such an award, but I accept nonetheless. Who knows maybe I can walk down to the “Cyber Cafe” and use my Righteous Blogging Skills to score some Saab driving “Liberal” Babe.

Here is the Revised Description of the Award courtesy of Central Insanity:

“1. The award recipients are pissants – i.e., they’re not the biggest bloggers in the ‘sphere, they’re not Kos or Hewitt or Sullivan, but they make up in attitude what they lack in size/readership.

2. They are provocateurs – i.e., they provoke other people into thinking about and responding to subjects they might not otherwise think about and respond to.

3. By virtue of the first two traits, they advance the intrinsic value of a government that is closely, evenly divided between partisans, so no one party has outright control of the outcomes, recognizing that (a) divided government honors the check-and-balance intent of the founding fathers; and (b) divided government tends to work better; reference the Reagan and Clinton years versus the Carter and Bush #43 years.”

I’m not so sure about those “Reagan and Clinton Years,” but whatever.

I know a lot of people are skeptical about these “Awards/Memes,” and I concur because, let’s be honest, they’re a Pyramid Scheme set up to increase a Person’s Technorati Rank. So I visited “Divided We Stand,” and suggested to the Shopkeeper (MW) in order to make the “Award” more egalitarian what if the Creator of said Award returns the Link Favor?

In other words, if I’m going to link to your post because you came up with this “Award” then it only seems fair you link to me as well, and they, being a most gracious Host, agreed. (If you visit you will see “Jonestown” sitting pretty on their Blogroll).

Visit, tell them you accept the award, and “Give Me My Fucking Link!,” but be courteous.

Courteousness is next to Somethingness.

Now I have to pick 5 Recipients. Son of a Bitch does this Post ever end? I have work to do! (I’m using exclamation points a lot lately. If I start writing in all caps someone let me know).

Here are my choices:

1) B-man at Realitology

2) Morse at Sestakastan

3) Christopher at From the Left

4) Commander Other at Otherwhirled

5) Dancy at Dancy’s Corner

Go forth, multiply, spread the love like HPV, and don’t forget to write.

Be Pissants, and Be Proud!



~ by fairlane on August 20, 2007.

17 Responses to “Jonestown Wins! Jonestown Wins! (I Just Hope Satan Doesn’t Find Out)”

  1. I haven’t been “here” all that long. “Agitator” is the word I would have used to describe this blog, but now that I think about it, “Pissy” does pretty damn good as well!:)


  2. Thanks Dan. What do you mean agitator? I’m a perfectly reasonable person.

    You were going to be one of my selections, but I wasn’t sure if you’d want it or not. When I read “The Pissy” for some reason you came to mind:)

  3. Ford,
    Congratulations on the award, casual observation of your blog confirms that it is well deserved.

    One correction: The award description you attribute to me is not mine. I don’t know where it came from. Just a bit of mutant DNA that the virus picked up along the way. You never know where these awards have been or what people have been doing with them on their blogs. I recommend wiping it down with alcohol or boiling it for an hour before displaying it.

    I did adopt the Central Insanity description you also display as the official description, as it is much better than my original effort. Feel free to deposit some of your own DNA on the award when passing it on. Just don’t send it back to me. – DWSUWF

  4. Congrats! Very cool. It’s well deserved.

    Thanks for the recognition of my little blog, From the Left. I am still taken aback by the number of people who stop by and stay a spell, to quote Granny Clampett.

  5. As Fairlane knows, I have bestowed this upon him as well but he has declined my version. This is a decision I understand and support.

    That said, I still think that Jonestown is one of the absolutely most thought provoking blogs that I read every day.

    As a result he will always be Pissy to me!

  6. Hey, just got back and find you hitting it the big blogs! ; )

    Enjoyed reading your past selections as well.


  7. Congratulations Fairlane. Will the award be placed on the table or in the trophy case? 🙂

  8. […] Nile Virus Jonestown Wins! Jonestown Wins! (I Just Hope Satan Doesn’t Find Out) » This Summary is from an article posted at JONESTOWN on Sunday, August 19, 2007 Jonestown Wins! […]

  9. […] out all the requisite paperwork on the game, check my email, check on the blog, and here’s Fairlane calling me a pissant. That’s okay, though. I figure it’s a pot-kettle kind of […]

  10. you should be proud, you pissant.

  11. ROFL, nice job fairlane and congrats on the award. The “Liberal” Babes are driving hybrids not saabs these days. Just tryin’ ta give ya a heads up…

    Nice choices on the blogs too!

    The scientifically impossible I do right away
    The spiritually miraculous takes a bit longer

  12. MW- Takes one to know one, and from one Pissant to another I say Viva la France!

    Christopher- You write a damn fine blog, and it is my pleasure to give you this Passive Aggressive Award.

    Fran- I apologize. I didn’t think it was fair for me to accept the “Double Pisser.”

    It’s already like a Golden Shower over here as it is.

    Coffee- Thank you kind sir. I remain connected to my humble roots in the streets of Pissopatamia.

    And like “Jen from the block,” no matter how many awards I win I will always, in my heart, be a little Pissant.

    PoP- I was thinking about placing my “Pissy” on the back of the toilet. It only seems fitting.

    Commander- What can I say? I hear Pissant I think of you.

    You write your name in the snow like no one else.

    raffi- Your kind words echo in the potty that is my heart.

    Bless you.

    Clap- “Hybrids?” Are you sure?

    Whatever happened to, “Yeah, I’m like really into saving the whales and like the poor. Hey, you want to come over to my house, we have an indoor pool.”

  13. thanks for the awardism, fairlane, and congratujiggulations yer damn self. it even inspired me to get off my ass and update my blogroll a bit, so thanks for that as well.

    i don’t care what everyone else says (and i never give much credence to the police blotter in USA Today anyway), but you’re one of the good guys. thanks for thinking of me.

  14. Thanks for your reciprientation, or for making me a recipient, or reciprientating me, or something like that. I know this is a scheme to make me post more isn’t it? You sly dog you!

    So if I read the original post on Divided We Stand correctly, I’m now supposed to find 5 blogs and “award” them? Is this some sort of blogging chain letter? If I don’t do this then I’ll have 7 years bad luck, burn in hell, and Mitt Romney will become president?

    Oh the pressure…the humanity…

    BTW, congrats on another award for you.
    I’m telling you man, you’re going to rule the world some day.
    Either that or your gonna get offed by the CIA.

  15. Ah, the back of the toilet is the perfect place! Be sure to keep it clean and dry. 😉

  16. Commander- I appreciate the support. You get caught trafficking in human cargo one time, and everyone in the world rushes to judgment.

    B-man- You are most welcome.

    Me, ruler of the world? Imagine…

    Pop- I’ll do my best, but the “toilet” here at Jonestown is really just an old 5 gallon pickle bucket.

  17. “I’ll do my best, but the “toilet” here at Jonestown is really just an old 5 gallon pickle bucket.”

    I hate brown pickles.

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