Son, if you see your mother tomorrow. Tell her I said, SATAN SATAN SATAN!

fairlane127.jpgHere are a couple more “Oldies but Goodies.” Of course, “Oldies” is a relative term since I’ve only been around for a few months, but I enjoyed these two.

I appreciate all the support and words of encouragement. I’m slaving away, but damn they didn’t give me much time. I calculated last night that I have to write approximately 21,000 words! And I only have ten days.

Fucking dope heads!

I’m hoping I’ll get some free Percocets out of the deal, but I’m sure they’ll have some excuse about it being “illegal” to hand out narcotics to strangers. To which I can only respond,

“Look at me, I’m a man with a hand on his forehead. NOW GIVE ME SOME CANDY!”

I’m going to try and post something for real tomorrow.

Again, muchas gracias amigas y amigos.

You dudes are killer diller.

David Vitter Has A Very Tiny Pee Pee

Easy Bake Ovens Are Not Intended For Children

And Let Us Not Forget Because Forgetting Is A Sign Of Repugnantism…


~ by fairlane on August 23, 2007.

9 Responses to “Son, if you see your mother tomorrow. Tell her I said, SATAN SATAN SATAN!”

  1. Fairlane –

    I’d read your stuff if you repeated it everyday.



  2. Pickles and Xanax. What a combo! Love it.

  3. Don’t sweat it if you don’t get any freebies. Just take double the usual dose of Imodium AD and triple the dose of grass.

    You still won’t get your freebies, but you’ll be so high you won’t give a shit!

  4. So stingy with the Percocets!

    I think Xanax should be available in gumball machines at the front of the stores.

  5. Now see, even that introduction was worth logging on for.

  6. Tengrain- “Flatterer.”

    Chuck- Gotta love that Pickles period. She’s a throwback.

    Dan- Thanks for the tip Dan.

    Nvisible- I was recently in the hospital with appendicitis, and they had me on dilauid for about six days. That shit, damn. I don’t see how those people use that crap everyday. It made me feel like puking 24/7. I eventually told them I’d rather deal with the pain.

    Morse- That’s part of the intro to a Butthole Surfers song. Great band.

  7. take care of business, fairlane. legend has it if you eat an oompa-loompa you’ll be higher than any chemical present in this universe, of course only if ingested with kool-aid on the side. did i mention you inspire me? if you feel like tainting your website with an award, visit my site. good luck dood

  8. does Laura Bush have a tiny pee pee?

  9. raffi-Thanks for the honor.

    I can’t even bring myself to eat a hamburger much less a poor defenseless oompa-loompa. Besides midgets scare the shit out of me with their big ass heads, and little hands that can barely grab a tootsie roll.

    DCNY- You know, I wouldn’t be surprised if she was the one packing the meat in that relationship.

    And everyone knows that Republicans, whether they’re man or woman, are hung like bees.

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