My Daughter Is Not A Republican!

I walked into my daughter’s bedroom a few minutes ago, and was greeted by this-

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For a minute, I just stood there. She’s only three and surely this was not an intentional act. No way she knows about sex yet. Right?

I’m assuming, for my own sanity, that she was holding them together while she played “Princess.” (She likes to have them dance together at the “Ball”). And when she laid them down they stayed in their dancing position.

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If it was intentional, I guess my only solace is that at least she didn’t have Ken sitting on the toilet tapping his foot.

That would definitely be worrisome.

Hey, and at least Barbie is on top.

*Photobucket banned my photos of Ken and Barbie naked. Yep.

You can have racist photos on Photobucket, and you can have violent photos on Photobucket, but pictures of Ken and Barbie (Two plastic dolls with no genitalia) are “Offensive.”

I wish they’d let you know who complained so you could go to their house and smack them.

Here’s my guess… Middle aged woman, Religious. Very unattractive.

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~ by fairlane on August 31, 2007.

22 Responses to “My Daughter Is Not A Republican!”

  1. Me thinks Daddy is entirely too paranoid!:) Kids world, especially at that age, don’t have the restrictive and reactive biases that ours does. We have to teach them that. I found my five year old washing his bulldozer in the toilet bowl one day. “Teresa (his younger sister) says it’s too dirty for Suzy (her doll) to ride on Dad, and Mom said don’t ever play with the water in the bath tub!”

    I later tipped Mom to include the toilet bowl in her off limits speech.

  2. oh the Romney family — genitalia-less mitt and anne at the beach!

  3. Jeez…they can’t dance with clothes on? My brother monitored my barbie/ken usage and felt the need to dress them for me if they were naked too long…I always wondered if it was fruity but he was just paranoid

  4. Oh, God, it reminds me of a joke my goofy father likes to tell. You know why (insert name of fundamentalist Christian sect here) don’t make love standing up? Someone might see them and think they’re dancing.

  5. Dan- You never know these days. Five year olds have “boyfriends.”

    DCNY- There’s no doubt Ken and Barb are Wingnuts (No genitals, made of plastic, forced facial expression to give the appearance that they are alive).

    I was actually opposed to Bella having Barbies, but her grandmother (My step-mother) is…well she’s sweet but a bit dim.

    Cluziel- What’s the point of putting their clothes back on? Five minutes later they’re naked again.

    It’s genetic. Every Barbie and/or Ken I’ve ever seen in the possession of a child was naked.

  6. Hey, we have that same Spongebob comforter (well, two of them, one for each of the Jedi).

  7. Nvisible- Obviously God hates dancing or he wouldn’t have invented White People.

    The Spongebob comforter is actually mine.

  8. That’s cute, haha.

  9. OMFG, they banned the Barby images :)))) this is insane.

    Anyway, i saw sometime a movie and it was a little girl, around 3 years, and he rubbed her legs one by another until he reaches orgasm. The same thing has been discovered at a 2 year girl. So … who know … but we have this in our instinct.

  10. This is hilarious.

  11. Other possibilities about the Photobucket snitch:

    Fundamentalist minister has has never been naked like that with a young blonde with a great figure & desperately wants to be.

    Pervert who gets his kicks from seeing plastic doll breasts & arses but is trying to reform. He can’t control his impulses to keep going back to Photobucket to look at your pics.

    The toy designer who decided Ken should have that hairstyle when he was piss drunk and now can’t live with himself.

    This is too funny

  12. Fairlane………..beavis and butthead head laughter…intermittently…..all day.

    brilliance is what it is

  13. Fairlane: After seeing my nieces stripped their Barbies down, carry them by the hair and then use the naked Barbies to hammer something into place I decided that we read too much into it. Still, the photos are very funny.

  14. Kids today! ; )

    I have a foto of me dressed up in cowboy clothes and hat, with rifles and guns, around age 5 and ya know what? I’ve never had any, nor use any. Although, I did try skeet shooting a few times in my late teens and was pretty good at it. Didn’t like the smell after the shot, nor the backlash after shooting.

    What a great story to tell her some day…..

  15. Fairlane – this is fab! Who knows how the dolls ended up that way. It’s possible that they really do come to life like in Toy Story.

    And banned from Photobucket. Been there. I posted my old avatar there with a couple of other racy shots. They were there for months until one day someone (The Honey) googled my screen name and found them. Once they were found and viewed on photobucket, my account was killed.

    I’m sure that every two minutes or so someone is searching for pictures of Barbie and Ken getting laid so yours were found much more quickly…..

  16. That reminds of the famous scene in “From Here To Eternity”, surf included.

  17. Well my experience tell me that the damn clothes have design flaws and kids just get too pissed off to keep struggling to put the clothes on and off. Ever try to shimmy those dumb plastic legs into Barbie hot pants?

    After a while, my kid who is now a teenager just drew a bra on with a Sharpie marker.

    But I HAVe to tell you this story.

    My evil brother used to pose dolls when people were coming over, like Nana for dinner or something. He would put Gumby and Pokey in positions, barbie on barbie action, all kids of dolls sticking out of cars and trucks, paired up. I dont know where he got his…um, information. This was before my suburb had cable. But regardless it was something he found to be hilarious.

    There are worse things kids can do with dolls, I wouldnt worry about it.

    And this middle aged (close, anyway) hag did NOT report your photobucket. Just so you know.

  18. Damn I have to link you because in my head you are now “nude Barbie guy”. And thats not respectful.

    Jonestown seriously makes me upset to think about, as well it should, as it portrays kool aid drinkers victimized by foolishness. Not knifepoint. We all know that not all submission is by choice. Ok I wont get started.

  19. Alice- I thought it was pretty damn funny myself. I wanted to lean in the door and say, “Hey, what you damn kids doing?!”

    Loozer- It’s not the first time they’ve banned pictures of mine. Last week they banned my picture of Fortuna, who is the goddess of Fate.

    Again, I imagine a religious nut. Fortuna is pagan and naked.

    Abarclay- Isn’t it though?

    Liz- Now you’re really starting to creep me out. Those people are the reason I took my daughter’s picture off the my blog.

    David- I’m beginning to really you. You like Punk Rock ,and you recognize brilliance when you see it.

    Pissed- I’m not really all that worried. Now if she were playing “Silence of the Lambs” with her Barbie’s or something of that nature, then I’d be worried.

    Coffee- I have that same photograph of myself.

    I have many great stories for her. She’s a pretty great little girl.

    D-Cup- That’s the reason I assume it’s a religious nut. It’s always “sexual” pictures that are banned.

    Morse- That’s awesome.

    Lynn- I appreciate it. The not turning me in, and the linking part.

    Thanks for the comments, and the Barbie stories.

  20. not likely she knows anything…. yet. that is, unless she walked in on you and mommy “dancing”. as for middle aged, religious douches, they can all stay bitter and pretend they’re happy

  21. Funny how so many unreligious douches home in on people with faith in God when they want to dump off their miserable existence on scapegoats. And those of you who chose to ASSUME it was a religious person with the problem should wonder why you are so paranoid… sad idiots

  22. I agree, it is “funny,” that’s why I wrote it.

    Thanks for stopping in, I hope you genuflected on the way out.

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