Little Jack Horner Sat in the Corner Because He Was Controlled By His Fear

Craig Vows to Stay in Senate — for Now

Senator Larry Craig vowed to continue his “work in the US Senate,” while a Judge decides whether or not he can withdrawal his guilty plea that stemmed from his involvement in Pottygate.

In a candid interview, Craig, despite overwhelming evidence, Pinkie Swore that he is not now nor has he ever been attracted to Men with Hairy Knuckles and Mustaches.

Although he admitted, he does occasionally fantasize about Dom Deluise Naked, Smothered in Pastrami and Onions.

(But hey, who doesn’t?)

Jenna Bush Describes Marriage Proposal

Jenna Bush, on the show 20/20, told the 4 people who give a shit how she and her “Boyfriend” became engaged.

Did you know she has a book out? Are you Fucking kidding me?

I’m not sure if this is good or bad.

On one hand if a marginally literate chromosomally challenged twit can get published, I’m in like Flynn.


On the otherhand if a Marginally Literate Chromosomally Challenged Twit is who they Publish, I may as well give up and get a job at a Law Firm.

Oh yeah, Jenna’s engagement.

Apparently, in between shots of Mad Dog that dude said, “Are you sure a Blue Line means it’s Positive?”


Thomas Reopens Wounds With Memoir

Clarence Thomas is pissing people off again (Gee what’s new), but this time it’s with his Auto-Biography “My Grandfather’s Son.” (Yet another Mouthbreather with a book).

In his “book,” Thomas refers to Anita Hill as a “Mediocre Employee” (Takes one to know one), and his “Most traitorous adversary.” (Dudes generally don’t like women who blow the whistle on their Sexual Deviance).

Many people think that Thomas is a “Tom,” and that he’s Mollified his “Blackness” in order to be accepted in the Lily White Mental Disorder known as the GOP, and I concur wholeheartedly. (Not that the Liberals have treated minorities much better).

He’s also been criticized for using programs set up to benefit Minorities, only to turn his back and condemn those same programs now that he has a seat in the “House.”

Again, I concur.

However, my problem with Thomas is that he goes out of his way to make his race a “non-issue,” unless (Unless) it benefits him to be black.

If anyone remembers his Confirmation Hearing, the turning point was when he referred to the Investigation into Hill’s claims as a “High-Tech Lynching.”

Hold on a Fucking Minute Cochise.

If you’re just a “Human Being,” then no way can you evoke the memory of Lynch Mobs carrying torches and nooses when it serves you to do so.

I’m no expert on being a “Minority” in America, but in my limited experience most “People of Color” can’t turn their “Coloredness” on and off.

But Thomas apparently has this power, and most of the time he’s nothing but a “Human Being.”

Isn’t that Fucking Sweet?

In fact, Thomas’ idea of Race is more akin to the “Liberal” notion that we live in a “Colorblind World” where race is a Biological Myth, and that it doesn’t matter.


Fuck Yes it Matters!

To the Powers That Be some black kid on the street is a “Nigger” today, and tomorrow he/she will be that same “Nigger.” A kid on the streets doesn’t get to be a “Human Being” nor can he/she pretend “We’re all Equal in God’s Eyes.”

God doesn’t carry a badge, and a 9 mm.

I understand the difficulty in Thomas’ situation. After all he’s a member of a Party that built its Power Base using the “Southern Strategy.” He can’t go around acting “Too Black” or he’ll upset the “Base.”

Unless of course, “Acting Black” silences his critics, and Ends with him Sitting on the Supreme Court.

Thomas walks a Tightrope each and every day, and I don’t envy his position one bit.

But you know what?

Tough Titties.

You made your bed, now Fucking Sleep in It.

By playing the “Lynching Card,” Thomas effectively Shut Down the Pussy Democrats and their Investigation.

Can’t have some Fascist call us “Racists.”

Yeah, we don’t want that.

Forget the fact that people like Thomas would turn back the Clock in this country Several Hundred Years if they had their way.

“Oh no, we don’t want to Offend Anyone. We love the Colored Folk.”

Thomas, and those like him, be they Black or White, are dangerous, and it would have been nice if the Limpocrats displayed some kind of Spine during his Confirmation. (I digress).

I don’t know if anyone watched the Interview he gave on 60 Minutes this past Sunday, but between the numerous moments of Bravado Thomas put himself out there for everyone to see,

“I was raised by a Tyrant in a Racist Country, and man oh man did it ever shape who I am.” He did not say.

During the first half of the Interview, Thomas was very confident, almost defiant, and he had no problem talking about Racism or how his mother, out of necessity, was forced to send he and his brother to live with their Grandfather.

He confidently related how he essentially had no childhood, and that from day one after moving in with Grandpa he was put to work.

He never wavered one single time.

When asked about his Hardass Grandfather, and if he believed his Grandfather treated him the way he did out of “Love,”Thomas couldn’t answer. Not confidently at least.

The question stopped him dead in his tracks.

At first, he talked around the word “Love,” saying his Granddad provided a “roof” (All the typical bullshit you hear from Wingnuts. A parent’s only job is to provide the basic necessities: food, clothing, shelter etc), and that his Grandfather “Cared for him.”

I “Care” for my neighbors, but I don’t “Love” them.

In the end, he said his Grandfather “Loved” him, but (And this was quick. You really had to pay attention) his voice trailed off, and the once “Confident Brother” sounded anything but Sure.

That tells you far more than any of the Pre-Packaged Garbage he was Selling. In that brief moment, Thomas was a little boy, and his eyes were filled with doubt.

Maybe he was simply embarrassed talking about something Emotional. I guess that’s possible.

But I’m not buying it because he had no problem speaking about other Emotional Issues, including his mom moving he and his brother out of Her house.

I’m also not buying it because-

Wingnuts are the most Repressed, Emotionally Stunted People in the Entire Fucking World. The Party’s Foundation is built on Denial, and many Wingdingaroos act as though “Love” is some Sissy Ass Emotion reserved for Liberals and Faggots only (Redundant in their minds, I know).

We forget that Public Figures were once children, and that Who They Are Now was Shaped Many Years Ago.

Most of Us are Born with Adequate Wiring. We may have a screw Loose here and there, but for the most part we’re all born the same.

But not all of us are born into the same reality, and it is our Reality that Eventually Shapes the Person we become.

Thomas was raised in a Hard World. Not only did he have to deal with Systemic Racism, but he also lived with a man who treated him like a “Laborer.” (His word).

Now, I’m not opposed to teaching kids about responsibility or holding them accountable. One of the many bones of contention between my daughter’s mother and I is I think she’s a Pussy (Actually she’s Lazy), and she thinks I’m a “Hardass.”

My daughter is only 3 and in my/our house (She spends the majority of her time with me) she has chores and responsibilities. She picks up her toys, and her room. She gets something out, she puts it away. Of course I have to prompt her most of the time, but that’s the Law.

One of the obvious benefits is I don’t have to follow her around picking up her crap all day long. She knows to pick it up herself.

But the most important benefit is she feels like a “Big Shot” when she’s cleaned her room. Afterward she always runs into my office, “Dada, Dada, I cleaned my room. Come see!”

She eats it up when I tell her how Proud of her I am.

I have no problem with this aspect of Parenting. Ultimately, our children have to take care of themselves, and it builds their confidence to have responsibilities.

The problem is that apparently in Wingnutatopia that’s all there is to Parenting. There is no balance, and children are treated, as Thomas put it, like Laborers/Employees. (The Counter to this are the “Liberals” who give their 15 year old son a Candy Bar every time he wipes his own Ass).

I promise you, if you asked my daughter if her Dada loved her, she’d answer “Yes” with a Quickness and she’d have a big shit eating grin on her face to boot.

We have many tender moments together, and she knows I Love Her more than Anything in the Entire World.

Thomas apparently didn’t have that or at least he didn’t speak about it. He passed on the Usual Wingnut Talking Points about “Personal Responsibility” and blah blah blah and yadda yadda yadda.

Great when describing the Adult World, not so much when recounting your Childhood.

Thomas was created. No one showed him Empathy or much Tenderness so why in the Fuck should he show other people those things?

Anyway, that’s enough about that asshole. I have other things to do.

The point is…

The Average Wingnut is no Fucking “Mystery.”



~ by fairlane on October 1, 2007.

17 Responses to “Little Jack Horner Sat in the Corner Because He Was Controlled By His Fear”

  1. Mouthbreather? hee…hee hee….heh heh heh….heh.

    It looked like Jenna has two mouths and one needed air.

    There is nothing absolutley nothing better than hearing- Daddeeee!! Daddeeee!!

    Time to write Fairlaine.

  2. Larry, Jenna and Clarence
    the three stooges of Oct 1

    we have a closeted angry guy with a wide stance, a blue blood girl with brain cells soaked in alcohol and an angry black guy who has pubic hairs taped to a soda can and hates his degree from Yale Law……

    sounds like a tribe on a survivor episode……

    no wonder America cares more about Britney’s custody battle

    as always fairlane, well put

  3. My daughter is only 3 and in my/our house (She spends the majority of her time with me) she has chores and responsibilities.

    Wow! You really are a hard ass! Ha ha… Only kidding. I’m a bit of hard ass, too, but my kids are several years older, so I can get them to do more shit around the house than just clean up toys. The irony is that now that I’ve got them cleaning kitchen, bathrooms and the basement they spend lots of time in, the thing we have to nag them about cleaning is their bedroom. Go figure.

  4. Point to each of you Fairlane and Distributorcap. So, um, do we refer to Jenna’s revealing photo as a Bush shot or a bush shot? Color me curious.

  5. David- Write, write and write. Tis the only way.

    I love hearing “Dada.” Damn, I’ll miss that when she gets older.

    D-Cap- That’s the Presidents daughter with her twat hanging out. This is our “Royal Family.”

    They’re nothing but a bunch of high dollar hillbillies.

    Ahusband- She resists at first, but always feels proud of herself when she’s finished.

    She’s advanced for her age, and I figured hell why not? At the very least it cuts down on my work, and maybe if I start young we won’t have to battle so much later.

    Of course that could be the liquor talking.

    Thanks for stopping by my humble, but profanity saturated abode.

    Pissed- I’m not sure what to call it except embarrassing, a travesty, trashy, and typical of these fools. I guess I do know what to call it.

    I think either bush/Bush is acceptable.

  6. “On one hand if a marginally literate chromosomally challenged twit can get published, I’m in like Flynn.
    On the otherhand if a Marginally Literate Chromosomally Challenged Twit is who they Publish, I may as well give up and get a job at a Law Firm.”

    Most of the books published in the last few months seem to be of the “I was there” variety. Further, it’s wingnuts being published right now. Wait until they start publishing smart people again.

    “But not all of us are born into the same reality, and it is our Reality that Eventually Shapes the Person we become.”
    Exactly. Two babies are born. One is told that green is really red all it’s life, the second is told red is really green all it’s life. When/if they meet, they’ll each think the other’s nuts.

  7. Clarence Thomas is pretty much the only serious stain on George H W Bush’s presidency. Living in CdP, I could argue Operation Just Cause two ways. Bush betrayed Noriega and the assault was designed to cause maximum civilian casualties and property damange. On the other, hand the Panama Miracle probably doesn’t happen with Noriega still in power. Otherwise, I agreed with Bush the elder on certain things, disagreed with him on more things but on the whole it was an honorable 4 years of service.

    Thomas is beyond repulsive but it certainly opened Aunt Dora’s Box. I had been neutral on Specter before that. I came to loathe him and have never stopped and have never been wrong. Never mind that Thomas is a dummy and a cheat and a liar. If I had been a Senator then all I needed to know to vote against his confirmataion was one little factoid on his document. He listed his one hobby as “weightlifting.” Everybody else had stuff like reading, stamp collecting, fly-fishing, Naval history, playing with their grandkids. Honestly, I’m a US Senator and somebody wanting a lifetime appointment to the Supreme Court puts down weightlifting as his hobby, he ain’t getting my vote. There are times when good old rules-of-thumb work. Elitism in choosing a Supreme Court justice is not only OK, it’s necessary.

  8. And now for something completely different…A quirk in the scheduling has provided me with a chance to extract a modicum of revenge. UCLA is not only hosting Notre Dame but looks actually like a good bet at -20 1/2. I made it -27.

  9. Who exactly published Jenna’s book? And why in hell would I or anyone give a good damn about what she has to say? Thomas needs to STFU. He hasn’t asked a question of anyone appearing before the court in like forever and now all of a sudden it’s all about him.

    So is Craig keeping his “seat”?

  10. Where’s my effing comment????

  11. Pissed off Patricia: The publishing companies liine up to pay off the children and spouses and familiars of this adminstration so that they can gain some favor with W et al. Hence Mary Cheney’s $1 million advance for a book that sold something like 5,000 copies. It’s not really bribery if you paid the cash as an advance (wink, wink).

    And fairlane, thanks for the confirmation. Trashy indeed.

  12. So much hate….sad truly sad.

  13. What eggzactly is it you hate about jenna?

  14. What is it you hate about the honorable Mr Thomas

  15. we all know what Mr Craig’s problem is but why does it bother you?

  16. Enjoy your hate, I’ll stop in later and allow you to judge me again

  17. Christ, what is it with you wingnuts and your Internet piety?

    Why does it always seem to disappear in the real world?

    Please, fuck off.

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