I’d Rather Have Hawaiian Punch

Johnny Wingnut





Brought to you by the Department of “We Hope You All Choke and Die,” better known as…

“The Government”


Cross Posted at Johnny’s


~ by johnnywingnut on November 5, 2007.

5 Responses to “I’d Rather Have Hawaiian Punch”

  1. Yeah, they can flavor the stuff up so much you never will know what it is. And since it’s cheap they can keep serving it forever.

    Schip, can’t afford that
    War, hell we can pay for those till the cows come home.

  2. JWN-MAX1m^2:

    You can’t imagine how much I appreciate having you around “our” corner of the blogosphere. One of the themes I hammer over and over again on my flop is that we lefties HAVE to realize how many friends we have on the right. And vice versa. Fuck it, we can all agree on 55% of stuff we all support. This business about “liberals loving taxes” is manure. This bullshit about “the rich’ being evil, heartless pigs who hate the poor” is also a steaming pile of crap. OK, I’m a loony-liberal. I admit it. Do you think for a second I LIKE taxes. I do everything I can within the law to avoid paying what I don’t owe. Never mind every Wingnut’s dartboard, George Soros. I used to be an off-shore fund manager. I met way more “liberals” in that world than in the American straight world. Michael Milken = liberal. John Meriwether = liberal. Ron Burkle = liberal. Barry K. Schwartz = socialist. Everybody practically at BARRA and Swissbank/O’Connor = hippie and liberal, respectively. Susquehanna Asset Management = liberal. My old shop = liberal/libertarian cross. I could go on.

    In the typical, left v right thing, you would come back by saying “elitist this and that…what about the average guy who resents da da dum de dum…”

    And I’d say “fuck him, maybe he should have read books to his kids instead of raping or beating them…da da da de de de”

    And you’d say “before the 60s, it wasn’t like that, people had respect de dum de dum de dum…”

    It would go on like that and it wouldn’t do anything but make each of us pissed off at the other guy.

    Obama’s a limp-dick so his ideas of “getting past partisanship” are just weakness dressed up as “centrism.” I have a very different notion of how we can come to accord with none of us selling out our values. We don’t have to be PC or act any way that’s not comfortable for any of us. Anger is good. Shows balls and commitment.

    I know we agree on taxes. I know we agree on the wars. I know we can get to a place where free health care is a right with a tiny bit of compromise. If it’s a budget issue for you, that’s a piece of piss. Easy to solve because there is so much waste and overlap in goverment employment. Sure, I like AFSCME but I’m sure even they would tolerate significant attrition and buy-outs if they felt the remaining rank-and-file were getting something back for all their taxes. We definitely agree on privacy. I have no problem with the NRA position on guns. I excercise my right NOT to own a gun. End of story. And I assume you have no problem with the NARAL position on choice and contraception. If you have moral problems deriving from your religion you are certainly free to present a forceful but non-coercive negative argument to a woman friend who is contemplating having one. If you cross the line with her, you get hit with a civil and/or criminal action. Don’t like it? You shouldn’t have hit her.

    I’m sure I feel the way you do about WACO and RUBY RIDGE. It was beastly. I thought by and large Bill Clinton was an excellent president but Reno had way too quick a trigger finger in both those scenarios. In fact, there are times — as a Jew — I feel like I have more in common with the White Separatists than I do with the Washington circle-jerk shit. If for no other reason, I treasure my privacy as much as they do. When I want to express myself on the web I want to get intelligent arguments not trouble.

    Now, I’ll say some shit no other liberal ever says. I can think of at least 20 things Reagan did well. And I think 41 was a good president and a hard-luck loser because he did a the heavy economic lifting for the good of your country all of which cost him his second term. Not that I minded. I voted against Reagan twice and against GHWB but despite Iran-Contra during the planning of which Reagan may well have begun to lose his shit, he was a decent president and did nothing to disgrace the office. GHWB too. Maybe looking back from my far left perspective, both probably enhanced the dignity of the office. Clinton, too. You’re a dude for pity’s sakes. Don’t pretend that getting a Louisiana Liplock from Monica is the most shocking thing you can imagine and he’s going to roast in Hell for all eternity. And it ruined the country. Puh-leeze. That’s what squares, lames and pussies say. And I know you’re none of those things. Be straight with me, son. Do you want REAL ID to become law? Have you thought through the implications of that? You think it’s going to snare all of these Spanish speakers but it’s not. Illegal immigrant networks are very sophisticated in their way. The only kinds of people it will snare are Mr. and Mrs. American Flag who are IN THE SYSTEM already. That’s — LIKE — you. It means that the USA will have a system of internal passport control EXACTLY like the USSR did pre-Gorbachev.

    This son of bitch playing G.I. With Kung Fu Grip in the oval office now is a fucking disgrace. There is not a single thing he’s touched that he hasn’t fucked up top to bottom. I assume that Cheney’s a greedy bastard and wanted to lock in a super-high crude price. Christ, there are a zillion ways to do that without resorting to death and maiming. Believe me that kind of manipulation has come a long way since the GE/WESTINGHOUSE/ALLIS-CHALMERS case.

    We disagree on “defense,” immigration, criminal justice, welfare, public education, public housing, collective bargaining all of that stuff. But in a democracy nobody ever gets everything they want. There will be some tradeoffs. But if your side isn’t willing to trade, the party’s dead. It will poll like what Perot got and some kind of center-right party headed up by McCain, Giuliani, Obama, Emmanuel,Lieberman, etc. will battle liberal Democrats for control. They way things are now, the press and the remainder of the Republican party is ready like a line of dominoes waiting for the first one to fall. And it will. Little Bush has screwed too many people. Abrahamoff says one word and school’s out. You know that. And that’s just one guy banged up in Stoney Lonesome. There are scores more.

    If GI George doesn’t pull some evil shit and declare himself EL DUENO DE MAR A MAR for life, there will be a fresh start and a time for serious people other than the Sunday morning dickheads to get our acts together together. If he does something stupid, I really don’t know what to say, it will be awful. A total ass-over-teakettle. Devil-take-the-hindmost.

    You get what I’m saying?

  3. Here’s all the above in a nut-shell: NO MATTER WHOM YOU VOTE FOR, THE GOVERNMENT ALWAYS WINS

  4. ‘Bout time you distilled that post.

    Look man, I’m not down with your fancy, higher order, multitask, A.D.D. lingo…I’m a caveman…perhaps not as Genghis Kahn as my friend T.R. Oglodad, but still, a Bonny and Clyde Neanderthal. Damn! Before you simplified your comment, my head was splitting into like, ya know, lots of pieces -n-shit. ‘Cause I’m like an authentic antirenaissance man, fo’ real. But I know what you’re saying Father…It is true duh guhvment always wins and it is true that we can agree on some things and it’s also true that I will be posting some things which will rub your fur the wrong way. The question is can we mix it up and come away from the exchange stronger than we were before. We shall see. Thanks for the props.

  5. That’s the idea. That’s real good. Keep playing dumb long enough and eventually you are dumb. Or maybe I should take you at your word and apologize for OVERESTIMATING your intelligence. I only do higher-order. What you’ve written is just re-fried O’Reilly or Savage. Insults. After I’ve cited chapter-and-verse areas in which I’d support your viewpoint. Shit.

    I’ve written this a number of places but I’ve gone native in a way and I look at Americans now with the same jaundiced and predatory eye the locals do. I really didn’t want to go down that road. America was good to me and my family for a while. I read shit like your disrespect and I’m not so keen anymore. Growing up in NYC and now living as a Non-White, I get the picture. And I don’t want any part of it.

    I was ready to step forward to back you up on any number of issues from guns to taxes to regulation to privacy. I was enthusiastic about what you had to offer. You don’t like intellectuals? Good. Intellectuals don’t like you much either. And we got power. You? Maybe not so much.

    It always comes down to this with Wingers, doesn’t it? Make fun of someone’s intelligence or sincerity in the old-fashioned bully style. There were 1000 issues I raised you could have supported, modified or refuted. Instead? Sean Hannitty bully bullshit. The problem is that we’re not in high school anymore. Brains=Money and Fun. Wingnut Jock Bullshit=A Life Of Tedium, Anger And Regret.

    A year ago, I would have really gone off. I’ve mellowed some. Now, I merely feel bad for you because I know at rock bottom you’re a good guy. There was no need to reflexively do the anti-intellectual thing. Being part of Jonestown makes you an intellectual by identity.

    But it’s wrong for me to tell you how to live or what to write. Just count me out unless we’re going to have a real debate. This is where my gentlemanly nature comes in. Friend, I’ve never once lost a game of the “dozens.” I am electing not to play this time. I’ve seen the movie too often. You insult me. I insult you a little harder. You insult me a little harder. I get real pissed-off. You get real pissed-off and threaten me physically albeit over the telegraph wire. And then I have a decision al estilo Sparacus to make. Size up how realistic your threat is and deal with it accordingly.

    No, I’m not going to do any of that. I’m sorry if you didn’t care for my words. I would have like to have read from you something on the order of “thanks for the thoughtful post, but I disagree on issues 1-4…” Instead, I shall take my leave of Jonestown and wish you the very best in all your endeavors be they literary, political, sexual, romantic, financial, whatever. Your politics could not possibly offend me. I love a difference of opinion. Your discourteous manner, however, does.

    Best of luck, Buddy. For real.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: