Vegetarian indoctrination conspiracy exposed in ‘Land Before Time’ movies
Today’s installment of There’s a Penguin in my Coffee has us analyzing those cute little dino dramas, The Land Before Time series.
Last night fairlane and I had a good conversation about epistemology, specifically as it pertains to mass media, or entertainment.
A couple of provocative questions surfaced: 1. Are The Land Before Time movies anti-meat eater propaganda, and 2. Do the smarmy with extra Hershey’s syrup romantic movies coming out of Hollywood downgrade our interpersonal relationships.
Let’s deal with the first question….well…er, uh…first. The second will have to wait until the next post.
It’s obvious if you pay attention: The Land Before Time movies are blatant vegetarian propaganda. I mean, think about it. The movies always portray carnivores in a bad light, with Little Foot and his friends forever trying to elude the carnivorous dinosaurs whose only interest is in eating Little Foot and any other vegetarian dinos nearby. They (meat eaters) are the evil antagonists of the story. Not only are the meat eaters portrayed as the epitome of evil, but they are also made to look like their I.Q. is a few points shy of functionally stupid.
The following scene should be sufficient to illustrate the indoctrination going on in an effort to brainwash our children into being civilized little vegetarians.
Little foot: Lately, I’ve been pondering the validity of sensory perception, causality, and the Laws of logic.
Thundertoe (with slight British accent): Yes, quite…mm…ahem, well, my hypothesis on the validity of such things has been confirmed.
Little Foot answers enthusiastically along with about a half dozen other veggie-dinos: We did not realize you had posited anything regarding the observed phenomena, let alone the philosophical truisms of absolutist epistemological constructs, Thundertoe. Please elaborate.
Thundertoe: Yes, well…as I was saying…ahem, after forming a null hypothesis and rigorously testing to falsify my results I determined that the answer to any question concerning these concepts lay in….
Before Thundertoe finishes his sentence, a large T-Rex (surnamed Sharp Tooth) bursts in and proceeds to devour poor Thundertoe before a horrified group of his fellow veggie-dinos. The reminder of the show has the veggified lizards outwitting, outfoxing, and otherwise thwarting Sharptooth and his carnivorous cohorts. Interspersed with the action are many articulate and intelligent conversations among the vegetarian dinosaurs covering everything from astrophysics to where the best bargains on soy milk can be found. Meanwhile, the carnivorous dinos can only grunt or growl loudly as they haplessly run about looking for someone to eat.
Conclusion: The makers of The Land Before Time (all vegans, BTW) have divided the world into two camps: Vegetarians and Meat eaters. The former are rational, kind, benevolent souls whose only purpose (unless you’re a fruit, tuber, legume, or vegetable) is to live and let live. The latter are mindless, bloodthirsty, half crazed animals, who (aside from their formidable drive to make a meal out of vegetarians) don’t have sense enough to come in out of the rain. To a political scientist, this dichotomy of the prehistoric kind should be all too familiar.