Vegetarian indoctrination conspiracy exposed in ‘Land Before Time’ movies

Johnny Wingnut

Today’s installment of There’s a Penguin in my Coffee has us analyzing those cute little dino dramas, The Land Before Time series.

Last night fairlane and I had a good conversation about epistemology, specifically as it pertains to mass media, or entertainment.

Land Before Time

A couple of provocative questions surfaced: 1. Are The Land Before Time movies anti-meat eater propaganda, and 2. Do the smarmy with extra Hershey’s syrup romantic movies coming out of Hollywood downgrade our interpersonal relationships.

Land Before Time

Let’s deal with the first question….well…er, uh…first. The second will have to wait until the next post.

It’s obvious if you pay attention: The Land Before Time movies are blatant vegetarian propaganda. I mean, think about it. The movies always portray carnivores in a bad light, with Little Foot and his friends forever trying to elude the carnivorous dinosaurs whose only interest is in eating Little Foot and any other vegetarian dinos nearby. They (meat eaters) are the evil antagonists of the story. Not only are the meat eaters portrayed as the epitome of evil, but they are also made to look like their I.Q. is a few points shy of functionally stupid.

Land Before Time

The following scene should be sufficient to illustrate the indoctrination going on in an effort to brainwash our children into being civilized little vegetarians.

 

Little foot: Lately, I’ve been pondering the validity of sensory perception, causality, and the Laws of logic.

 

Thundertoe (with slight British accent): Yes, quite…mm…ahem, well, my hypothesis on the validity of such things has been confirmed.

 Land Before Time

Little Foot answers enthusiastically along with about a half dozen other veggie-dinos: We did not realize you had posited anything regarding the observed phenomena, let alone the philosophical truisms of absolutist epistemological constructs, Thundertoe. Please elaborate.

 

Thundertoe: Yes, well…as I was saying…ahem, after forming a null hypothesis and rigorously testing to falsify my results I determined that the answer to any question concerning these concepts lay in….

Before Thundertoe finishes his sentence, a large T-Rex (surnamed Sharp Tooth) bursts in and proceeds to devour poor Thundertoe before a horrified group of his fellow veggie-dinos. The reminder of the show has the veggified lizards outwitting, outfoxing, and otherwise thwarting Sharptooth and his carnivorous cohorts. Interspersed with the action are many articulate and intelligent conversations among the vegetarian dinosaurs covering everything from astrophysics to where the best bargains on soy milk can be found. Meanwhile, the carnivorous dinos can only grunt or growl loudly as they haplessly run about looking for someone to eat.

 

Conclusion: The makers of The Land Before Time (all vegans, BTW) have divided the world into two camps: Vegetarians and Meat eaters. The former are rational, kind, benevolent souls whose only purpose (unless you’re a fruit, tuber, legume, or vegetable) is to live and let live. The latter are mindless, bloodthirsty, half crazed animals, who (aside from their formidable drive to make a meal out of vegetarians) don’t have sense enough to come in out of the rain. To a political scientist, this dichotomy of the prehistoric kind should be all too familiar.

Land Before Time

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~ by johnnywingnut on November 23, 2007.

14 Responses to “Vegetarian indoctrination conspiracy exposed in ‘Land Before Time’ movies”

  1. I was definitely the carnivore tonight. But my son does not like meat. He chews it a little and hands it to me in a ball.

    I am slightly worried.

    I don’t know why I just am.

  2. You know my feelings on the matter Johnny. You meatavores are obsessed with we Veggies, and secretly want to consume our flesh which is free of anti-biotics, steroids, cow hormones, and God knows what else.

    One day the hoof will be on the other foot. (I don’t know what that means).

  3. But Wingnut Guy, the dinos were carnivores and herbivores. And if you were a carnivore, you wanted to eat meat, and herbivores were meat.

    But now that you mention it, my youngest loves the Land Before Time movies and doesn’t care for meat….

  4. Also, Fairlane loves me. He said so publicly, in front of God and everybody on my blog.

  5. Oh my gosh, this was hilarious! My son and grandson (there’s not much age difference between the two) used to love those movies and I think I’ve seen every one of them. I never thought of the anti-carnivore message being sent. Both son and grandson are carnivores to the max and my son would rather choke than have to eat any vegetable besides carrots, corn, or an occasional salad. So, the movies didn’t change their minds.

    Being a vegetarian myself (don’t shoot me!), I’m always so uncomfortable when I’m invited to a dinner from one of my husband’s new bosses or colleagues. If I don’t tell them ahead of time I’m a vegetarian, they’re insulted that I won’t eat the big slab of meat they have as their main course, and if I DO tell them ahead of time, they’re put our or insulted because they think I’m trying to change their menu. I tried being sneaky once and put a small piece of meat on my plate and pushed it off to the side and ate all the side dishes. But the lovely lady who prepared the meal asked me if the meat was overcooked or undercooked since I didn’t eat it. I didn’t know what to say! If I had said I just took it for show it would be insulting and if I said it was not to my taste…again, an insult.

    We vegetarians are intimidated by you big, bad carnivores!

  6. I know, Mary. My wife is the same way. She’s been a veg. head for years and always gets ticked when I tell our dinner hosts about her veggie orientation.

    Also, for about three and a half years I was a vegetarian. I had a lot more energy on that diet, but found that, in addition to being borderline anemic, I couldn’t keep my body weight up, was constantly hungry, and always felt weak. This despite the fact that I was eating well, even for a veg head.

    In the end, (no pun intended) I went back to my animal products and haven’t looked back.

    My kids, as well, are unaffected by the LBT movies. Since we’ve gone to press with this story, DreamWorks has announced that they are gearing up to produce a dino series which plays to the meat eating population, which just goes to show, you never know who might be reading this blog. And clearly the creators of LBT are now under the influence of Jonestown Kool-Aid…to which I say, “Drink up bitches!”:)Have a good one.

  7. this thanksgiving i was invited to two events:

    1. a happy thanksLIVING meal taking place in woodstock, new york (where else would one expect such a gathering, one asks)

    and

    2. a vegan pot luck, just a bit south of the thanksLIVING feast.

    i personally have chosen to eschew (is that the right word?) meat … mainly because meat and my body don’t seem to get along, but also because came to understand why that was after i read both michael pollan’s article on cattle farming, which was published in the ny times magazine years ago, as well as ‘fast food nation’ (and it’s cinematic adaptation with none other than greg kinear and (shock and horror) avirile lavigne (excuse my speeling of names).

    however, i can’t quite get into ‘the lifestyle’ of the deeply compassionate ones, those gentle vegans.

    so, my thanksgiving was spent at ‘rudy’s beau rivage restraurant’ in dobbs ferry new york where i chowed down on some pretty great veggies and communed with the evil meat eaters.

    and i didn’t feel dirty afterward … it was fun.

  8. Johnny,

    Couple things. I had a similar experience with 5 years of vegetarianism in hte past and went back to the meat sauce, though not all that heavily, but have been more and more so feeling the need to go back to my veggie ways. I happened to pick yesterday to do it, so this was a particularly timely post. I find the sing-songiness of LBT much more disturbing than the potential vegetarian indoctrination-issues. My sons, for two, do not come away thinking the meat eaters are uncool, I’m afraid…just misunderstood.

    The other thing is…What about #2 up there. This needs a part two to discuss said issue you raised.

    Also, Happy Birthday, Fairlane!

  9. After the huge hot dog I just downed, I’m thinking I should sit through this movie and absorb a little of its message.

  10. Johnny- Yeah, trying to keep the vitamins and minerals straight on a Veggie diet takes a little work. If you’re on a veggie diet, you must take Vitamin B complex and about 2000 mg. of Vitamin B12 to keep up with what you’re missing from the meat.

  11. A Rastafarian might have a rather different but no less strong opinion on the subject. I eat meat; it’s not one of my causes, though.

    Bigger problem for USA are those romantic comedies. Create all sorts of problems leading to much war between the sexes. The normal way to sort these things out is better than the dating game. At least in my experience. Been a long, long time since I dressed up for a date. A shower, shave and deodorant ought to do nicely, thanks. That every man has to be Hugh Grant and every woman Julia Roberts is a societal cancer. Plain old sex and have a few laughs works. Don’t want to live in a world where it doesn’t.

  12. Johnny’s full of crap. He needed to lose weight. His head alone weighs 39.321 lbs.

    He looks like the white Barry Bonds.

    Thanks Frieda.

  13. Absolutely, Kelso. My next post will touch on that issue. Fairlane and I chewed the fat at length over that one.

    As a matter of fact, fairlane, I never thought I’d see the day you’d become my muse…but, damn! Maybe it was just too much tryptophane after all. Hope yer turkey day was a good one, you little carrot muncher. Be talkin’ to you about that little table cloth merger we discussed early in the week. Should be a hoot. Until then, peace…

  14. the land before time

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