Dear Commercial and Spam Bloggers


fairlane1329.jpgStop fucking linking to posts at Jonestown in attempt to build up your Google Page Rank.

Our blog is now licensed not only with Creative Commons (Non-Commercial Use), but with the RSC in Compton as well. (Google will also be notified).

Any and all violators will be hunted down like the Fucking Leeches you are.

Build up your Page Rank like real men/women, probably men, pretty sure you’re all men. You know you’re supposed to pay for that privilege, and I’m no Pimp. Meaning I don’t do business with Ho’s.

Have a Wonderful Day, and Fuck you very much!

*Okay, I decided to make this an “official” post because it really is pissing me off.

Last week I log-in to check comments, traffic, and to see whose post is coming up next, and I see we have two new incoming links.

I click one.

Immediately I’m greeted by a page filled with Fucking Ads for iPods, iPhones, Dildoes, all kinds of bullshit, and there, amidst this garbage, is an excerpt from one of my posts with a link back to Jonestown at the bottom. At first, I thought it was simply one of those delusional people who think they’re going to get rich by putting ads on their blog, but then I notice my post isn’t even attributed to me, and is instead credited to “Jack’s Web Blog.”


I decide to peruse the “blog.”

The only thing that makes this “blog” legitimate,” is the fact that whoever runs it is linking to other people’s posts, but they don’t actually credit the author, and instead use made up names like “Jack’s Blog.” (There are legit Link Sharing Blogs. Opit is an example, and he’s a cool dude, but these Wankers are not interested in the posts at all).

Not knowing much about this kind of crap I returned to Jonestown, and delete the Ping Backs.

Serendipitously I was talking to my friend in San Jose this past weekend, and we were talking about Page Rank. (Page Rank is a system based on an algorithm that Google uses to determine the importance of a website or blog).

A few weeks ago my friend informed me that Jonestown had a fairly high Page Rank (5), and that some marketers are willing to pay for the right to link to a blog or website with a high Page Rank. ($25 a month or something depending on your PR).

Now, I’m not into blogging to get rich, but I’m not opposed to making a buck if I can find some cool sites who are looking for links. (Independent Music Stores, Art Related Stuff, etc) So, I told my friend I would look into it.

As fate would have it, the idea was shot down before it ever took off because last week (I think it was last week) Google started cracking down on blogs that sell their Page Rank.


So we’re talking about Google’s little blog mission, and I ask my friend why Jonestown’s Page Rank is so high in the first place.

“Incoming links, and that site’s Page Rank.”

“Is there a way to find out how many links are coming into Jonestown, and from where?”

“Yep, hold on.”

While we’re talking, he looks up Jonestown, and informs me that we have almost 700 incoming links.

“What? My Technorati Rank is 80. How in the Fuck are there 700 incoming links?”

Long story short, Links to Posts, Blog Links, and Comments count when it comes to Page Rank.
“So, when I comment on another blog it can count as an Incoming Link?”

“Yep, and if they have a high Page Rank it helps increase your Page Rank. You must comment on a lot of popular blogs.”

What does this have to do with the price of Crack?

Well, these douche bags who are linking to our posts at Jonestown, and probably some of your’s as well, are hoping we’ll “Approve” their Ping Back, which counts as a Link.

Get it?

They’re linking to people’s posts to pass themselves as a “legitimate” blog, but in reality it’s a ruse to fool Google, and people like us.

Why do I have a problem with it?

First, using someone’s Page Rank in this way is a pay per month service. You don’t try to back door someone, and essentially steal a link, which is what these assholes are doing. (People selling iPods can afford to pay for Marketing).

Second, you don’t link to someone else’s post, and then credit it to a make believe blog or person. You give the writer credit, and if you make money from that link, you compensate them.

Third, if Google goes after these people, all the blogs they are linked to could be punished as well simply by association. (Google lowers the Page Rank of “violators” as punishment, which I think is Fucking Stupid. But Google does whatever in the Fuck it wants, and until I become a Trillionaire there isn’t Shit I can do).

Let me say, I have no problem with Capitalism (Real Capitalism, not American capitalism), but I do not like shady Mother Fuckers, and after seeing yet another one of these links this morning (This time to one of Dashiell’s posts) I had enough.

This afternoon I registered with Creative Commons, and emailed Google.

That’s the story.

*Before anyone misinterprets, I (We) have no problem with our compatriots (Or other, as of yet, unknown bloggers who like something we’ve written) linking to posts, and we are more than happy to return the favor. Giving props is definitely cool. The Creative Commons License only applies to Commercial Use, as does my Ire.

Just remember…

Slavery is Over, and there are no House Negroes at Jonestown.

~ by fairlane on November 29, 2007.

25 Responses to “Dear Commercial and Spam Bloggers”

  1. i love the smell of arrogance in the morning

  2. I don’t like assholes stealing our shit, especially as a way to make money.

  3. Spammers deserve no mercy.

  4. While I rewrote this post, we got three more of those fucking Ping Backs.

  5. you had the quote of the year

    Let me say, I have no problem with Capitalism (Real Capitalism, not American capitalism)

    that is why i love Jonestown

  6. i was having the same trouble on the public wordpress of the otherwhirled. it was one of the reasons why i moved off to my own server.

    sadly, now i see how many legitimate readers i have, which is something less than 20, but i also haven’t really had the time to formally register the site with all those places with the funky web powers to send people my way, either.

    of course, since you traded my otherwhirled link for my perpetual dawnne link, i’m probably missing out on all sorts of people who would probably not click the link in the first place.

    the web’s a nefarious place. despite being an otherwise phenomenal service, the wordpress hosted service is one of those steaming piles of dead flesh that so very much attracts the spam flies. and the stupid flies actually continue to hit my now-defunct wordpress-hosted original otherwhirled at a rate of several hundred per day. it’s kinda funny, in a miserable way.

  7. Commander we be got your link to Otherwhirled. It’s under “Commander Other.” Do you want me to change it to Otherwhirled?

  8. Sounds like quite the fucking evil hassle. I’m glad I have a dinky-ass blog.

  9. Time was we had dinky-ass blogs too. I had under a thousand ‘pings’ my first year : not that my setup hasn’t changed since then. I’m almost embarassed to post here – and I usually jump right in – only because this site has more of what I was really looking for – personal contact.
    Ah well, I get enough political commentary looked at – I should count my blessings.
    I think my ‘link farm’ picked up a lot simply because I am constantly making new contacts. I’d say the last month I’ve seen a big increase in the number of bullshit links – but they really are to what Fairlane is calling fake ‘blogs’.
    Akismet doesn’t seem to pull them off like the leeches they are – but spam totals generally picked up are rising fast. It’s hard to say that happens with a rising Technorati rank – which almost seems to trigger a ‘feedback loop’- or is more a function of increased nonsense. I did post an article which would seem to suggest different spamming tactics and motivations are responsible.

  10. Holy Crap Fairlane, I was trembling as I read this having linked to my own blog (oh shit i did it again she says in brittany voice)
    many times.

    I thought you were going to bitchslap me sort of a la Rudy and Mitt.

    I don’t advocate violence in any way shape or form, especially domestically.

    But it did have its own unseemly appeal.

    Seriously- how right are you to rant about this, because it it total shit.

  11. Oh, I get it now!

  12. lol fairlane. it appears commander other’s public school education taught him how to skim, not read. commander other does, however, appreciate any and all linkiness, especially from cool people like yourself.

    opit: Akismet doesn’t do ping-backs unless the ping-backs come through in such a way as to trigger itself. in other words, even if it’s to a spam whore, a well-formed ping-back isn’t going to be sniffed at by Akismet. it’s designed to address direct spam, often identifiable by multiple links, several hundred keywords, and links to ip addresses instead of domains.

  13. Thanks for the heads up. When I look at what the filter has caught… wow!

  14. DCNY- We’re glad you love us, and the feeling is mutual.

    Commander- We started getting zapped after I found out about our Page Rank.

    I checked it along time ago because someone had a button on their side bar, and being a curious monkey, I clicked it. At the time, Jonetown’s PR was Zilch.

    “In the three months since, our PR went up, and the Ping Back craze is in full swing.

    I’m also assuming that they are assuming we get a ton of traffic. (Our PR is the same as Blue Gal’s, but she gets at least 10 times the traffic). I guess they think if I approve their ping back, a few thousand people, out of the hundreds of thousands who visit (That’s a joke of course), will click on it, and possibly buy an iPhone.

    Opit- You are always welcome mon ami, and I appreciate the links to our posts. You are one of the good guys.

    Fran- That’s why I went ahead and wrote a little rant so people didn’t misinterpret.

    We love our blog friends, and they can “Link” away, but no Marketers running automated bullshit blogs.

    Scarlet- I’m glad we’re clear now.

    “You don’t bring me flowers…anymore.”

    Commander (Part II)- Of course we’d link to your blog. (When I write “We” now, I actually mean “We,” and am no longer referring to the voices).

  15. What a pain in the ass. I blog under a different name on wordpress and found that this is starting to happen at that site as well.

    Now I have to check out ‘Tits to see if it’s got the same problems.

  16. I find this all so confusing. All I know is that recently I’ve been getting comments from folks who, if you click their name, sends you to some crap porn blog. I kill a few a week. As your problem, um, I guess typepad takes care of it.

  17. Ain’t this a crock of shit, fairlane! I’m having the same problem. Found one like like your Jake’s blog or what the fuck ever and the other day found one that used my name, but had no fucking link to the actual blog. None. They just used the name so they could get themselves indexed a little higher in the food chain. Finally, there was homeboy over a VChronicles who posted his fucking trackback but wouldn’t return the favor. So I booted his ass from my “Recent Trackbacks” column. But then again, why the hell should he care? His authority rank is something like 300 or some shit. Apparently, it was beneath his pompous tech-head ass to link to us wingnut bastards over there, but he had no problem piggy backing his trackback to some related content on that site. What a bastard. Last week some other little shit actually stole one of our images off the site, and didn’t even have the decency to credit us, link to us, or anything else. He just saw an image he liked and lifted it to compliment his own written content. When the artist confronted him about it, the arrogant prick didn’t even apologize. And while I’m at it, I’m fucking sick and tired of all the mindless comment spam as well. Getting ready to write a post on that shit. Alright, gotta go…but I do feel slightly better now. Thanks for an awesome and extremely relevant post.

  18. How perplexing……I really apologize for not leaving comments all the time, but, it’s all one can do to read as many blogs as one can in a short time. It gets to feel like watching the boob tube sometimes as far as sitting here without real interaction. I love winter, ’cause then it doesn’t matter.

    Sometimes, and lately what can I say that’s new and revealing? Not much, hence the silence.

    Cheers Bro! ; )

  19. This may be one of those times when my ignorance pays off for me because I have no idea what any of this is about and as a result I don’t worry about it.

    How about we talk about recent football games. Say, like the one last night. Couldn’t see it but I sure liked the outcome. I don’t know how I shall ever get this smile off my face. 🙂

  20. […] I was a bit taken aback by a recent request by fairlane to make something vegetarian, with no […]

  21. Yeah, get the crows and vultures away from me. Rampant greed, no-value-added, use-anyone to make a buck. Well, fuck you very much captilist spam queens.

    Not that I have an opinion…

  22. You always take me so seriously when I am being ironic. It has caused me to believe that I need remedial irony help now!

  23. I’m on the same boat as pissed of patricia.

    My ignorance is bliss.

  24. I don’t bring you flowers? You don’t even visit my blog any more. You are two posts behind!


  25. OMFG, make that FIVE posts. WTF?

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