fairlane Reports from The Republican Campaign Trail

Republican Front Runner Addresses Voters

John McCain

“Bed Sores, and Seven Stents Ago…”


Meanwhile, In the Heartland

Mike Huckabee

“Swing ‘at Squirrul Roun’ n’ Roun’, Hit’em on’a Head, an’ Throwed’em ta tha Ground. Fry’em up in a Skillet, an’ Gobul’em Down…”


~ by fairlane on February 27, 2008.

10 Responses to “fairlane Reports from The Republican Campaign Trail”

  1. Dude, Fuckabee ROCKS the bass like no one has ROCKED. EVER. Why must you spread banjoistic lies? Geddy Lee? Chump. Jaco Pastorius? Wimp. Geezer Butler? Wuss. Billy Sheehan? Garbage. Cliff Burton? Dead. Go, Fuckabee, Go!

  2. He was pretty funny on Saturday Night Live. Of course, I don’t watch SNL because it jumped the shark years ago, but thank the lord for the interwebs!

  3. RG had best take that back about Geddy Lee right this minute. As for Huck and the banjo, is he dueling with someone there?

    Bed Sores, and Seven Stents Ago…. That’s classic.

  4. McThuselah? I like it.

    and didn’t Huckabee say he’d know when to bow out of the campaign and then wouldn’t leave the SNL set?

    These two were the BEST the Repubs have to offer?

  5. just what did you expect from a party of thieves and crimminals? oh yeah, they gotta play to their base, my bad!

  6. Bass playing happens to be my number one criterion for the presidency, Liberality.

  7. RG: I want Townes van Zandt’s ghost for president.

    FAIRLANE: Not only am I NOT offended by your having said I was Fucking Certifiable but I am also quite proud of it. I’m not sure though of a field of YOU, ME, TORRANCE, FREDRICK SCHWARTZ, DIANE TOMLINSON and D-CUP who is the craziest. I’m in with a chance but I wouldn’t make myself odds-on by any means.

  8. Randal- I only report what I see. Don’t shoot the messenger.

    Cowboy- Yeah, he seems really charming, but a lot of crazy people are charming.

    Scarlet- I thought you might like that line, and I must admit, I’m pretty proud of it myself.

    I was going to use, “Four Whores, and Seven Stents ago,” but changed at the last second.

    Susan- I don’t think they’re the “best,” which is why the Wingnuts are so pissed.

    liberality- Play to their “base,” get it?

    Freida- So true.

    Bass playing, and insanity.

    Kelso- Are you implying that I’m crazy?

  9. F: Not implying, buddy, saying. You didn’t write exactly WHICH racist visitor to RawDawgBuffalo Torrance had shown such patience and tolerance for! Now, I know. I’ve made it one of my purposes to house-break said racist on my blog and I’ve been partially successful.

    If Torrence could bottle and sell his patience with the guy, he’d make a fortune.

  10. LOL, these are great. And I love the Borg stories, great send-ups of everyone. I tried to comment on the most recent post and it gave me an error so am commenting on this one – will see if it works.

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