Breaking News from Presidential Hopeful Senator John Mc Cain
Senator Mc Cain Selects Running Mate
In a surprise move meant to alleviate concerns over his Advanced Age, GOP Hopeful John Mc Cain announced the selection of a Running Mate in a Brief Statement to the Media:
“After an arduous process conducted by myself, and my team of ZZZZZZZZZzzzZZZZzzzzzz….Huh, mmmm, uh, uh, huh…..?
Who, wha’, where am I?
Oh, Right, right.
As I was saying, after a thorough search, we’ve found a Running Mate we believe will assuage this nonsense about me being Too Old To Be The President of the United States.
Before I announce my choice, let me assure you My Friends, Old Mad Dog (When Compared to an Egyptian Pyramid) is in Tip Top Shape, and this is in no way an Admission that I’m just a few years away from Age Induced Psychosis or that I’m incapable of changing my own Diapers.
Because, believe you me, I’m more than capable of Changing My Own Diapers, WOOF! WOOF! HOWLLLL!!!!
This is simply an opportunity to Silence My Critics once and for all.
I’m tired of the suggestion that I give up on being President, and instead focus on a Career as a Wal-Mart Greeter.
So, in response, I’ve chosen a Running Mate filled with the Vim, and Vigor of Teenager. And if, by chance, something does happen to Old Mad Dog, the country will be in her Taut Supple Hands.
What’s that? Did I say ‘Her?’
Damn Skippy I did.
Aside from being at the Peak of her Youthful Juiciness, (Hat Tip to Obama), she’s a She, a Skirt, a Broad, a Honey Pot, a Foxy Mama, Chick, Mademoiselle, Senorita, a Damsel, una Chiquita, a Hot Tamale, an Honest to Goodness Dame in the Flesh.
And let me Tell You Mister, she’s a Fine One at that, if you know what I mean, and once you get a Gander at her Gams, I’m sure you will.
Unfortunately, she is unable to be with us today, as she has a previous engagement, but her daughter, who also functions as her Legal Guardian, authorized me to release this Photo, so, without further adieu. ”
“How you like them Granny Smith Apples?”