Tonight, Let It Be Lowenbrau
I apologize for being MIA this past weekend, but let me say-
If you experience burning during, and/or after Urinating, it will not, no matter how hard you Pray, go away on its own.
Please, Seek Medical Attention Immediately, and Please, if you insist on having Intercourse with Women you meet outside Gas Station Bathrooms at 5:00 am, wear a Fucking Condom (Or Three)!
On with the Show-
Pigs in Cyberspace
As you all know, the Content at Jonestown is Reader Driven. Not a day goes by without someone here asking-
“What does America Really Want/Need, and how much longer can We get Away with Ignoring Them?”
The Truth is, without our Beloved Readership, Jonestown is nothing more than a Collective of Marginally Employed Deginerates with a Penchant for Profanity, and Bad Grammar.
With this in mind, I thought I’d begin the Week by purusing the Old Google Search Terms to see how our Fellow Deginerates (Readers) Find Us:
“Degrade, humiliate, whore, slut, cunt“
Now, on the surface this appears to be pretty disgusting (And it is), but after a little research, one finds this to be an Amazing Discovery.
It turns out the phrase, “Degrade, humiliate, whore, slut, cunt,” is a line from the Wedding Vows written by John Mc Cain for his wife Cindy.
What a Lucky Lady-
“How old is John Mc Cain?”
Being that Jonestown does not have access to Carbon Dating, we are unable to answer this question with any Certainty.
However, our team of Crack Scientists have a suggestion for our Curious Reader. Instead of asking, “How old is John Mc Cain,” maybe a better question, and one that possibly has an answer is-
How Old is Dirt?
“Will white people soon leave America?”
It depends on what you mean by “White People?”
If you mean, “Greedy, Remorseless, Self-Absorbed, Superficial, Wankers,” then, the answer is,
Christ, I hope so.
“Jesus nailed to the cross window decal“
Nothing says, “I love me some Jesus,” quite like a Window Decal, and, as Everyone Knows, Jonestown’s Favorite Martyr (Other than Michelle Malkin) is, Jesus.
Unfortunately, I haven’t been to Mexico in a while, and, therefore, haven’t had an opportunity to stock up on Jesus Decals.
Luckily, I do have the latest PR photo of Ms. “Bombs Over Internment Camps” 2005, 2006, 2007, and 2008.
Enjoy, at your Leisure-
“Man sex. Goat ass“
Your wishes are My Command-
Here’s a picture of me meeting with the Founders of the National Association of Goat Assery (NAGA)
Again, this search phrase Demonstrates not only the Sophistication of the Average Jonestown Reader, but the amount of time, and research they put into their interests.
For those of you who are unaware, “Little Pussy” is the title of the Upcoming Auto-Biography by Barbara Bush detailing the brief time she spent with Junior during his Childhood.
As an added bonus, Jonestown obtained a copy of the Proposed Cover-
That’s it for now Kids, but Stayed Tuned because, from what I’m Hearing, Scarlet has some kind of Surprise (Let’s Hope it’s a Picture, or Pictures, of her sans the Superhero Costume. I hear she has a nice Ass).