Right-Wing Status Update

Muscle LadyThe other day, I was listening to the Sean Hannity radio show during my drive home from work, only because there was nothing else on the radio at the moment, and I was feeling too lazy to whip out my iPod. Anyway, this lady, who seemed to be utterly infatuated with the host in just about every way conceivable, called the show to discuss her views on President Bush. Specifically, she wanted to address another person’s comment that he will go down as one of the worst Presidents in our nation’s history. She disagreed, stating that she thought he was “doing a great job”. Now that’s bad enough, but what really got me was the fact that the only piece of evidence she presented to support her argument was “the fact that we haven’t been attacked on our soil”. This incredible display of ideology inhibiting one’s ability to think logically nearly resulted in a call to the show from moi. However, I was almost certain my argument would fall on deaf ears. So, I decided to do the next best thing and post my frustrations here at Jonestown, for all of you to agree with, laugh at, pick apart, or whatever it is you decide to do.

Sean Hannity

So, had I called the show, the following is what I probably would have said. My argument is threefold. First, we were not attacked frequently, on our own soil or elsewhere, before the 9/11 attacks. I believe the last major attack before 9/11 was the bombing attempt on the WTC in 1993, a full eight years prior to the attacks in 2001. So, assuming we still haven’t been attacked as of next year, we’re only maintaining the status quo – hardly a significant improvement.

Second, there were a number of actions taken by our government in response to the attacks. For argument’s sake, I’ll use only three examples: (1) heightened security at airports and most major events, (beta) an increased focus on terrorism by our intelligence agencies, and (yellow) the War in Iraq (fighting them over there so we don’t have to fight them here). Now only one of these responses is unique to this President. Any monkey could’ve been President and we would’ve still ended up with policies 1 and beta. It takes a “special” President to initiate policy yellow, and what was being implied by the caller’s argument was that this third policy has been solely responsible for our success in avoiding attacks. However, there is no evidence to support this theory. Although I could easily make the case that policy 1 has made it much more difficult for any potential terrorists to carry out another attack. We can hardly go anywhere anymore Terroristswithout having our bags checked. In addition, policy beta has some measurable results, which not only points to the fact that this is helping prevent attacks, but also demonstrates the fact that “fighting them over there” is not preventing “them” from attempting to attack us here. So, there are many different responses to the 9/11 attacks, and “fighting them over there” seems to be the only one without any quantitative results.

Finally, there are a plethora of reasons to believe that the War in Iraq has actually made us less safe. First, there have been increased incidents of terrorist attacks around the world, including on the soil of our allies in the War in Iraq. Second, an increased focus on Al Qaeda in Iraq, despite the fact that the main base is now in Pakistan, has resulted in a growing Al Qaeda organization. Also, not only are we avoiding the main organization, but there is also evidence to show that the War in Iraq has been an extremely effective recruiting tool for Al Qaeda and other terrorist organizations. Sometimes I wonder if the President is literally on their side.

AhmadinejadAnd now, the President and many of his friends at Faux News have their sites set on Iran. A co-worker and I recently discussed the probability that we will go to war with Iran. He brought it up, excitedly listing the allegations against its ruling regime, summing it up by stating that Iran was our “biggest terrorist threat”. I then responded that the State Department has recently released a report which states that Al Qaeda is still our number one terrorist threat, and that they are based in Pakistan. He then informed me with a straight face that Iran was “also funding them”. I tried to explain the difference between Sunni and Shiite, but it was of no use. He wasn’t having it.

Where do these people come from? It scares me that they are voting. I understand that there are nitwits in all corners of the political spectrum, but they just seem to be more prevalent on the right. Maybe it’s just because I live in Alabama. I don’t know, but I can’t help but fear for our country’s future.

Let’s pray that the stupid people in this country will get severe cases of diarrhea on election day. I know that’s an odd request, but I think it’s necessary in these strange Orwellian times to use whatever means available to get this country back on a path to freedom and prosperity, so that we can begin to do good in the world, and maybe right some of the many wrongs from our past.


~ by reasic on May 5, 2008.

7 Responses to “Right-Wing Status Update”

  1. Where are these people coming from? Well, it’s not just Alabama. They’re coming from Missouri, too.

    Funny, how people who think Catholics and Protestants come from different planets and hold radically different beliefs can’t tell a Shiite from a Sunni.

    It’s frustrating.

    Not long ago, a relative of mine told me she likes the Shrub because she likes “his morals.” Whaaaaa….? Let me tell you, sputtering in a flabbergasted way does nothing to convince these people, either. And when someone says something like that, all you day do is sputter. And marvel. Maybe cry.

  2. //..piece of evidence she presented to support her argument was “the fact that we haven’t been attacked on our soil”. //
    I have heard that before. I love it. Sounds like a candidate for OK Jimm’s Refrigerator Elephant Repellent. Just put a box inside the ol’ icebox and it will positively keep elephants from stealing from your refrigerator.
    //Maybe it’s just because I live in Alabama//
    Gees, you would not believe how many boxes of Elephant
    Repellent I have sold in Wisconsin.
    As Jesus said, ‘Blessed are the Stupid, for they shall inherit not much of anything and leave the rest of what’s left to us’. Or whatever it was Jesus said.

  3. I live in Utah, where the Mormon church tells its members how to vote. Literally, in church! I thought that was illegal, but then we have plenty of Pligs, pardon me, polygamists living openly among us, and I’m fairly sure that’s been illegal in these United States for at least a hundred years or so. Oddly, Salt Lake City is a little pocket of liberalism in an otherwise vast wasteland of ignorance. In an odd way, the only thing we democrats have going for us, is the colossal crappiness of GW Bush’s presidency. In the eyes of the rest of the world, we are the dumbest nation on earth. Otherwise poor people would never vote against their economic interests, yet in America it happens over and over.

  4. call them kool aid drinkers, believers, or just idolizers, but there is a huge chunk of the population (even in the bluest of blue New York City) who think this man is the second coming of the Messiah. he could kill a puppy on air and rape a 4 year old boy and they would say it was clinton’s fault. nothing he does is wrong – NOTHING. and hannity is one of those. they also hate anyone who doesnt believe. they are fucking insane. there is no other way to describe them.

    they think just not having an attack has made us safe. of course when (not if) the next one occurs (and it will, these things take time — attacks on US soil have to be spectacular to break through the Lindsay Lohn-American Idol-Reverend Wright news cycles) more than likely bush will be picking up brush in crawford or paraguay (with the mengele family) — we will have the obligatory — we told you how great bush is.

    even if you take the lack of attack at face value — that bush has been a ‘success’ (i cough) — name ONE other thing he has accomplished – just one!. one! — he had 6 years of a republican congress and nothing. massive deficits, a sinking dollar, crumbling infrastructure, crummy eduction, unaffordable health care, jobs shifted overseas. well i guess those are accomplishments.

    live in fear right wing, if that is a good place for you — so be it. your lunacy is only outdone by the complete lack of any joy in your life. if you choose to honor a man whose entire Modus Operandi was to have live your life with your head looking over your shoulder — you have succeeded beyond your wildest dreams. you have chosen the path of least resistance — being miserable fuckwads.

    what i dont understand is why so many people still follow this path — especially so many politicians. oh silly me — because making people fearful all the time is the ultimate way to keep them in line — like lambs before the slaughter.

    the right wing of this country is pathetic, the republic party is pathetic and any of their ‘believers’ are even more pasthetic. when you choose to live your life telling people how to live theirs — you are hopeless.

    so long story short — calling into hannity is an exercise in mental masturbation — he wants to arugue with you, it is the only orgasm he gets in his miserable life.

  5. Otherwise poor people would never vote against their economic interests, yet in America it happens over and over.

    Utah, I think you just summed up the brilliance of the Republican noise machine. They fall in line with DCap’s observation:

    …because making people fearful all the time is the ultimate way to keep them in line — like lambs before the slaughter.

    And along the way, go against their own best interests. Amazing.

    It pains me to hear that these nitwits are not confined to Alabama or even the southeast US. Around here, especially in a business environment, it is just assumed that everyone is a fact-free, card carrying member of the Republican’t party, who believes the free market system is the panacea for all our economic woes.

  6. I like your solution. Everyone, bake special brownies stuffed with those chocolate-flavored laxatives for all the wingnuts you know on November 4.

  7. Homie, you know, as well as I, the truth is, inconvenient.

    Americans live in denial about so many things, it should come as no surprise.

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