Apparently, While Diving, I Surfaced Too Quickly, and Now I Have the Memes
I was tagged by Cowboy the Cat (Son of a Bitch!) He thinks there’s a possibility I’ve led an “Interesting” Life.
This will Learn’em.
What was I doing 10 years ago?
In 1998, I was working, as a Counselor, with “At-risk” youth in Florida.
Truthfully, I was about to have a Fucking Nervous Breakdown working, as a Counselor, with “At-Risk” youth in Florida.
We lived in National Forest in Florida surrounded by Alligators, Water Moccasins, Timber Rattlers, Diamond Backs, Scorpions, “Cherry” Roaches, Fire Ants, Velvet Ants (Which are actually Wasps), and Mother Fucking Mosquitoes (Goddamn, I hate the Mosquito).
Oh, I forgot, we were also surrounded by Mouthy Punk Ass Kids.
We worked 24 hours a day living in Huts similar to the ones you see on Gilligan’s Island, except they didn’t have doors, and the walls only came up to your waist so Little Jimmy “Whack-a-Mole” was in sight at all times (I’ll post a picture of our Camp some day, if I can find them).
The longest I ever worked was 32 days straight when we took the kids on a trip down the Suwanee River.
After that trip, my Will to Live left me a Dear John Letter.
-One of the coolest things that ever happened was the night a “Cherry” Roach got into my bunk, and sprayed me, as I rolled over on my pillow, in the Fucking Face with this noxious Shit meant to deter predators (It kind of smells like Cherries, hence the name, except it’s Sickingly Sweet, and makes you want to Gag or, in my case, MURDER).
I think I killed him/her at least 25 times.
* “Cherry” Roaches are actually Florida Woods Cockroaches. They are also called “Palmetto Bugs.”
I guess I also helped some kids, and “Made a Difference.” Yadda, Yadda, Yadda, the Audacity of Hope, pass the Care Bears.
I left in December of 2008, moved to St. Louis, and spent the next two years working with Gang Members, and Kids with Psychiatric Illnesses.
What are 5 things on my to-do list for today (not in any particular order)
1) Learn to Break Dance
2) Smack Chimpy Upside His Fucking Head
3) Rule the World
4) Finish My Book or Someone Else’s Book
5) Have Sex with Natassja Kinski
Snacks I enjoy:
Fingers of Small Children
Things I would do if I were a billionaire:
Smack Chimpy Upside His Fucking Head
Purchase an Island, and Kick Everyone Who Lives There into the Ocean
Buy a Porsche, and Crash it into my Neighbor’s House (Hopefully while he’s sitting in his living room watching “Extreme Home Nanny Makeover Dancing”)
Git Bling fo muh Grill
Places I have lived:
At a 90 Degree Angle from Hell
Louisville (What Hell’s Hell probably looks like)
Percocetopia (Just South of the State of Drug Induced Psychosis)
Florida (Also known as Hell’s Toilet)
People I want to know more about:
Considering I spent a Substantial part of my life Working, and Dealing with People, I’d say I already know more than I ever wanted.
I’m supposed to Tag People. Consider yourself Tagged, People.