Happy Birthday, Mr. President

distributorcap NY

On July 6, 1946 the following exchange took place:

Babs The Impaler: Oh, George, I have to take a dump, is there toilet paper in the bathroom?

George: Yes, sweetie, you know I always buy whatever you tell me to.

Babs The Impaler: Good, now do the laundry, wash the dishes and keep busy you trollop

{five minutes later}

Babs the Impaler: George come quick

George: I am on my way

Babs the Impaler: Look, it isn’t a doody, it’s a baby. Let’s name him George.

George: I always knew my little guys were motile and could find where your ova were hiding, even in the back.

and so America’s nightmare was spawned. And today is his 62nd birthday. 62 is an age that one can stop working and collect Social Security (at a reduced rate). But GWB has spent 8 of those 62 years (12.9%) insuring that people may never retire, and even if they do they will be buying Friskies and Alpo.

So Mr. President you do NOT get Marilyn Monroe singing Happy Birthday in a sexy, breathless voice. But I do believe that everyone should get something for their special day, even if their actions for the past 8 years have caused an enormous amount of death, destruction, pain, sadness and anger. I was able to get your few remaining friends (and from what I can see you do not have many left) to send e-cards (this is a green blog) in celebration of 62 years of self-absorbed, unethical, immature, ego maniacal and evil behavior.

One can only hope your remaining birthdays are spent in misery, squalor and taking a dump.

~ by distributorcap on July 5, 2008.

16 Responses to “Happy Birthday, Mr. President”

  1. You’ve made me happier than I have been all day! Thanks DCap!



  2. You’re too generous!

  3. D-Cap, the rest of his days will be spent trying to find new places to stash the bushels of thank you cash he’ll be receiving from Saudi Arabia, Halliburton, the aerospace industry, all the petroleum giants and pharmaceutical corporations.
    He’ll be set for life and never again have to pretend to be working.
    And he’s too dumb to have a conscience, so he’ll never have to bother reflecting on the damage he did as president.
    The best we can hope for is a DUI accident and quadraplegia.
    Yeah, I said it. 😉

  4. FOFROFLMAO! Brazilliant! 🙂

    May I grab this YouTube???

    I’ve mailed the Mofo from Midland my gift: pretzels. A big, bag, of dry pretzels.

  5. Oh you and your special talent for elucidating the most essential information regarding history.

    How I love you. This post truly is the shit.

  6. ten – anytime i can make you (or any of my buds) smile… then i have done my job

    freida – i know, but everyone deserves a bday present

    kz – go ahead and say it – i am totally with you. there is nout enough misery that can be inflicted on this worthless piece of flotsam. as for reflection — he never ever thought he has ever done anything wrong or bad

    christopher- be my guest, have fun, spread the joy throughout the land

    fia – LOL, you have a way with words…

  7. He is nothing more than what he’s always been, a failure.

    In a way, I feel sorry for Chimpy. He dislikes himself so much, the only chance he has to even feel adequate is if he changes the entire world.

    Grandiosity is nothing more than a ruse, a barrier.

    Don’t believe me?

    Look at how he isolates/insulates himself. It’s a tacit admission of just how fragile he really is.

    Of course, it doesn’t excuse what he’s done, and history will look back on him for what he is/was, one of the worst presidents in our history.

  8. That bag of batshit and his crazy wife can go live in South America where all the war criminals go to hide out.

  9. HAHAHAHAHA! This is almost as funny as the last eight years! 🙂

  10. Yuppers, what Fairlane said,,,,,,it seems real rational….Bush feels insecure that he // isolates/insulates himself// Maybe some one call help with this, but I seem to recall a statistic concering how many of his first days in office were actually spent on his ranch in Texas…… ? …somehting like 80% of his first six months, he was in Texas, not DC…..and remember that dull, insipid moment at 9/11 when he was reading that kiddee book and just sat there, not knowing what to do…. Wowsers….Fairlane, a good mental shakedown of the shithead…..

  11. One of the best Daily Show bits of the year was about how the DOJ wanted to recruit “Bushies.” Jon Stewart asked how one could qualify as a Bushie. Jason Jones: The surest way to be a Bushie is to come out of Barbara Bush’s vagina.
    Hope you saw some good fireworks!

  12. DCap – You’ve outdone yourself. Ha ha ha…Great post.

  13. Bush is the perfect example of a dry drunk–an egomaniac with an inferiority complex.

  14. now thata
    a motley crew

  15. One word: PRETZELS! And lots of them

  16. Let’s hope all the rest of the birthdays he has are spent behind bars. And I’m not talking about the kind of bars that serve martinis.

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