Sybil

distributorcap NY

Sybil (whose real name was Shirley Ardell Mason) was a controversial book written by Flora Rheta Schreiber in 1973. It is one of the most famous stories about multiple personality disorder in American psychiatric history. In the book, Sybil has 16 distinct personalities which have all dissociated from her core persona. Her psychiatrist, Dr. Wilbur, diagnosis stated that Sybil’s ‘split’ personalities stemmed from the physical, sexual and emotional abuse inflicted by her mother during her childhood. The real Sybil died in 1998. Schreiber’s book was made into a Emmy-award television movie in 1976 starring Sally Field (“Gidget goes Psycho”) as Sybil and Joanne Woodward as Dr. Wilbur (Woodward won an Oscar for playing another famous person with MPD in 1957 for The Three Faces of Eve)

Sybil has entered popular culture lexicon as someone who exhibits markedly different personalities and temperaments.

Fast forward to 2008 — we have a Presidential candidate who is the political equivalent of Sybil. John McCain the affable and charming gentleman is not playing dirty, not bringing the campaign to the sewer, not stooping to KKKarl Rove tactics. It is those darn pesky alter-egos inhabiting Planet Maverick that are responsible for the meanness and lies. Here are some that have been released for public viewing:

  • John McReligion thinks Sunnis are Shiites and Shiites are Sunnis
  • John McFlipFlop was against tax cuts for the rich before he was for them
  • John McTrollop calls his darling wife the c-word in public
  • John McPanderer reaches out to those “warm spiritual” preachers like Pat Robertson
  • John McSenator has missed hundreds of votes in the Senate, and hasn’t voted since April
  • John McPOW is the only who can talk about his war record
  • John McMiddleeast walks through the Baghdad market with armed guards and bullet proof vest, calling it vibrant and safe
  • John McSinger turns Barbara Ann into a war chant
  • John McCrook helped people steal from the Savings & Loans
  • John McJealous cannot believe Obama is popular all over the world and eats lunch with the kool kids
  • John McMap crosses into Pakistan from neighboring Iraq
  • John McSportsfan thinks the Pittsburgh Steelers are the Green Bay Packers
  • John McWorldleader thinks Vladimir Putin is President of Germany
  • John McVacation wants to spend his holiday in Czechoslovakia
  • John McGeneral thinks the troops in Iraq are down to pre-surge level
  • Tanya the starfucker who thinks George Bush has a nice ass and a big dick, and especially like the kosher meat of Joe Lieberman.

Since misery loves company, John McShrink knows his rival is also a person that has many people rattling in his head. He has told us about:

  • Obama the anti-Christ
  • Obama the Fuhrer
  • Obama the Popular Kid
  • Obama the String Bean
  • Obama the newbie
  • Obama the troop-hater
  • Obama the Zeus
  • Obama as God
  • Obama the Islamic firebrand
  • Obama the Scary Black ManTM

John McAsshole really wants his prize of 270 electoral votes so badly you can hear the victory speech already “You Like Me, You Really Like Me.”

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~ by distributorcap on August 4, 2008.

10 Responses to “Sybil”

  1. And yet the PUMA kooks still plan to vote for John McCain because in their twisted world view, they honestly think they’re going to punish Obama for defeating Hillary.

    Go figure?

  2. Swell, D-Cap. Your post gave me a tic in my right eye.

  3. HOLD YOUR WATER, JOHN!

  4. Don’t forget John Mc Numbnuts, er…Mc Numbbrain or something.

    (<;

  5. Matt Taibbi has a great story in Rolling Stone about John McCain’s recent visit to the North Phoenix Baptist Church. It may add another bullet point to your McCain list.

    http://www.rollingstone.com/news/story/21896154/without_a_prayer

  6. This all shows just how far beyond even Maverickyness he is. Do they not say that genius is the ability to hold two opposing thoughts simultaneously? Johnny can hold 47,000 of them! He’s like the love child of Einstein, Aristotle, Stephen Hawking and Jesus combined!

  7. // John McSportsfan thinks the Pittsburgh Steelers are the Green Bay Packers //

    Boy….that does it! I am immediately turning into a liberal democrat…… if that shithead cannot tell the difference between Pittsburgh, OH and Green Bay, NE….. he doesn’t deserve anyone’s vote!!!!

  8. This guy is hideous. His trip to rah rah in front of the bikers at was awkward and disgusting. Your list is hilarious and sadly true all at the same time.

  9. Oh, delightful there is no end to the things we can do with his name.

    McSybil is good, thank DC 🙂

  10. Great post, DCap. A good analogy to Sybil. McCain truly must have multiple personality disorder in order to take all these opposite stans.

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