Sarah Palin’s Daughter Had Sex, Got Knocked Up, and Now? The Little Moron is Getting Married.

John Mc Cain’s V.P. selection, Sarah Palin, announced today that her 17 year old daughter, Mary Magdalene Palin, I mean, “Bristol,” is Pregnant. (Bristol? Where do Rednecks come up with these names? Is she named after that NASCAR race track?)

I know many on the Left will jump at this opportunity to point out how hypocritical the Wingnuts are, and, They Are, but that’s OLD NEWS.

Calling a Wingnut a “Hypocrite” is equivalent to calling a Female Chinese Gymnast “Awfully Underdeveloped for a 16 Year Old.”


What’s more important is, this, yet again, Proves that the Wingnut way of Living, “Jesus, Guns, and NASCAR” is no better than anyone else’s way of living.

Despite the WIngnut’s best attempts to control the Genitalia of every human on Earth, they can’t even control the Pee-Pees, and Wee-Wees of little Connor, and Bristol.

Bristol got Busy, did the Nasty, the Horizontal Bop, she FUCKED, and she probably did it on the kitchen table, or, in Mama, and Papa Palin’s Bed.

Of course the little Trollop is now getting Married.

What a Great Fucking Idea.

We need more 17 year olds getting Hitched because, personally, I feel the Divorce Rate is simply not High Enough.

I think we’re Short Changing Ourselves.

Why shoot for 50%, when 70% is easily within our Grasp?

Here, in no uncertain terms, we have Proof-

The Wingnuts don’t Know Shit about Life, which is why they’re OBSESSED with trying to CONTROL everyone else’s.

Just like the Liberals, the Wingnuts have-

Sexual Perverts-David “Pass the Huggies” Vitter

Homosexuals- Larry “Hey, could you pass the Charmin, oh, and your man panties” Craig

Fetishists- Bill “Mind if I eat that Falafel out of the crack of your Ass?” O’Reilly


Outright Criminal- Pretty much the Entire Bush Administration.

They’re Douche Bags, and No One should take their Pontificating Seriously, EVER AGAIN!

Wingnuts Don’t Know Shit.

And I say, Fuck’em-

Just don’t Go Marrying’em.


~ by fairlane on September 1, 2008.

9 Responses to “Sarah Palin’s Daughter Had Sex, Got Knocked Up, and Now? The Little Moron is Getting Married.”

  1. Good thing she’s not gay! Then this whole marriage business would be a bad thing in their eyes.

  2. You got that right, DCup. I feel sorry for Bristol. Probably had no choice but to stay pregnant and get married. Looks like a bunch of life’s other options just went by the wayside. Poor kid.

  3. Hee hee.

  4. Oh, Palin’s daughter is getting married. I though Bush was becoming a bigamist when I read that the little moron was getting married.

  5. The problem is, people WILL listen to their pontificating in the future, unless we collectively discover smarts.

  6. Ya, she got knocked up. Her mother supports ‘abstinence only’ sex ed. I guess ol Sarah just figgered they would cross that bridge to nowhere when the needed to. I just wanna know if they will have the wedding before the erection or after the limp-out in Nov.

  7. omg can you imagine the nonsense that would’ve ensued if this had happened to Obama’s family? They’d be like “bringing that kind of shame and loose living into the whitehouse”….

    Bristol. Wtf kind of name is that? Did she really name her kid after a Mega Corporation. HAHAHAHAA. Well at least we know she’s a diehard republican.

  8. I don’t know if any of you have heard, but on his MySpace page, Bristol’s beau, among other things says (Paraphrasing), I’m a fuckin’ redneck, I like shootin’ shit, I’m in a relationship, but I don’t want any children.

    Instead of “Hail to the Chief,” maybe they can play the theme to the Beverly Hillbillies at Mc Cain’s inauguration.

  9. Oh man, fuckin’ rednecks are a thousand times worse than a regular redneck. I like shootin’ shit in a linguistic sense, I’m in a relationship and I didn’t want any children.

    Oh no, I’m a fuckin’ redneck!

    Anyone have a beater on cinder blocks for sale? Black gold, Texas T.

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