Jonestown Exclusive- Sarah Palin Is From a Small Town

A brief summary of the Republican National Convention-

1) The GOP is about as diverse as a cup of Vanilla Yogurt.

2) Sarah Palin is from a “Small Town.”

3) Ironically, thus far, the Rep Convention is solely about Personality (Ironic, because they claim Obama is nothing but a “Personality”). No mention of policy, but they did mention that Sarah Palin is from a “Small Town.”

4) The Reps are simply uninterested in broadening their message to attract a more diverse voting base.

5) Republicans think Obama is an “Elitist,” they also think the Media is “Elitist,” in fact, they pretty much think anyone who didn’t grow up in a “Small Town” is, “Elitist.”

6) Apparently, Republicans are unaware that the Majority of Americans live in Cities, and not in “Small Towns.”

7) Did I mention Sarah Palin is from a “Small Town?” Well, if not, she is. She’s a “Small Town Girl.” Grew up in a “Small Town,” her friends are so “Small Town,” her parents live in the same “Small Town,” she used to Daydream in that “Small Town,” was taught the fear of Jesus in a “Small Town,” educated in a “Small Town,” had herself a ball in a “Small Town,” she can breathe in a “Small Town,” and will probably die in a “Small Town.”

8. If Democrats don’t Stand Up to these Yokels, they’re going to LOSE! (No Offense to you non-Wingnut “Small Towners”)


~ by fairlane on September 4, 2008.

11 Responses to “Jonestown Exclusive- Sarah Palin Is From a Small Town”

  1. And if you’re a community organizer, Republicans think you are loitering.

  2. I absolutely LOVE vanilla yogurt, especially with those crunchies in it? The granola? That is so good, but granola is so fattening! God, that pisses me off.

    Palin from a small town? What next? McCain was a P.O.W. but NEVER talks about it?

  3. Yogurt is fucking disgusting. I hate you small towners. Hey, just be happy that they aren’t POWs from small towns.

  4. Dude, I’m from a small town….

    I cannot believe that in all the hype over the teen impregnator-turned-celebrity the fact that Palin doesn’t think teaching teens about birth control (or disease prevention with condoms) in schools is a good idea is not the issue here. I do hope that American voters are not as vacuous as the GOP is counting on. It’s possible they’re not; I agree with your assessment of the threat.

    (Glad to see you back.)

  5. Gees, I have only had one cup a coffee….lemmee see if I got this straight….. McCain was a prisoner of vanilla yogurt for five years and Palin is from a small town? Or was McCain a POW in a small town and Palin tastes like vanilla yogurt….or is it that McCain WANTS to find out if Palin tastes like vanilla yogurt and if she does, he wants to be her POW for four years?

    Yuppers, gimmee that ol small town religion.

  6. I have to disagree. Vanilla yogurt at least has “flavor”.

    The RNC had less color than an albino marching band.

    What a joke of a two-party system we have. If McCain-Palin win while being the poorer candidate on most issues, I think it will say something historic about the nature of American Politics.


    buck fush,
    reverend manny

  7. Damn, her small town is smaller than my small town.

  8. I’m posting a blog article on the small town thing myself tonight in about an hour. Needless to say, I believe the whole small town thing is vastly overrated. I grew up in a small town, though a fairly large one, and I can tell you they are not all they are cracked up to be.

    But maybe I’m just too elitist.

  9. Perhaps, Chris. Maybe I am too. As teens we drove around in a circle of some lame-ass strip over and over and over again while we got drunk in my small town. Maybe since there was more to do than have unprotected sex, I had some sort of unfair advantage that makes me unfit to kiss John McCain’s non-elitist ass.

  10. I started to write a comment in response to this, but it turned into a rant. So now I have to go write a post instead.

    Nice work, fairlane. I’ve missed your angry ass.

  11. I grew up in a small town, and here’s my question: how can 2000 totally fucked up people end up in the same spot? Scary.

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