My Neighbor’s Car Was Crushed by a Tree. And in Related News, It Took Me Seven Days to Write This Post

Sorry that I’ve been MIA, but Louisville was pounded by the remnants of Hurricane Ike last Sunday.

From what I understand, as the storm moved North, it ran into a High Pressure System, which caused Two Unexpected things to happen-

1) The storm picked up speed

2) The storm changed course

As I was sitting here last Sunday, writing this very post, the first winds began blowing through Louisville  at 30-35 MPH. By the end of the day, wind gusts reached 70 MPH (Hurricane Strength). One report, from outside the city, claimed wind speeds of over 80 MPH.

Seven Hundred, and Fifty thousand people ended up losing power, and because our power company had sent workers down to the Gulf, we were caught with our Pants Down.

Being that I live next to two large parks, and am surrounded on all sides by gigantic trees, my power was out for Seven Days, Three Hours.

In a way, I kind of liked not having power. It slowed things down, and damn, was it ever quiet around here at Night.

I also found out something rather interesting. My Rather Fine neighbor, is a Professional Boxer. I always thought she was a Dancer. (Ballerina, not Exotic. I don’t do Fake Tits).

She had just returned from a bout in Texas to find her power was knocked out by a storm that originated in Texas.

Is that Irony? Nah, I think that’s more of a “Coincidence.”

Oh, I apologize if this post is outdated, but I haven’t had access to a television or teh Intertubes in over a week (Actually, that’s a lie. I didn’t want access to a television or teh Intertubes).

Our friend O’Tim left this comment a couple of days ago-

The thing they (Democrats) need to do yesterday is quit worrying about her and replace Care Bear with Mad Fucking Ass Dog, getting real on issues instead of all this “Ooh look a scandal” BS. The lefty blogs are doing Obama no favors by running him against Palin. Let Joe at her – I’m am hoping he is at the top of his take-no-prisoners game for the VP debate!

My original response was rather lame, and I didn’t explain very well why I think Sarah Palin is so very Important in this Election or how I think she can be used to Address some of the Fundamental Problems we currently face.

So, I decided to Explain myself a little more thoroughly.

In my last post, I discussed why I think Republicans chose Sarah Palin, and why I think her selection could, in the long run, backfire (Oh, and I also discussed Shrews, which, as Randal noted, are very interesting creatures).

What I didn’t discuss, at least not in detail, is How I think the Democrats can use Palin’s words against not only Her, but the Entire Republican Party.

And in the process, we, Possibly?, can have an Honest Discussion.

When the news broke about Sarah Palin’s daughter, there was much ado made about whether it was “Low Brow” to bring a 17 year old into a Presidential Election, and, in the end, the Decision was made that “Family is Off Limits” (Kind of like Pelosi taking Impeachment “Off the Table” before the conversation even began).

I think this was a mistake.

Not that I believe people should be Assailing a teenager for making a Mistake, a Mistake millions of people have made, but I do think she, her mother, and more importantly, her Mother’s Views are Very Important.

The Democrats should have/could have used this situation as a Spring Board to point out not the “Hypocrisy” of the Right, but the Categorical Failure of their “Philosophy,” and their Utter Disdain for the Truth.

So, here’s my take.

Instead of focusing on Palin’s daughter, and-

Look, Palin wants to tell you how to live, but she can’t even control her own children.

Democrats could have responded with something like this:

For over 30 years, the Republicans have viciously attacked Poor, Single Parents in this country with both their Rhetoric, and their Policies.

They’ve used the Racist Stereotype of the “Welfare Queen” to stir up Anger, and Resentment in their Constituency.

They’ve called Single Parents in need of help, “Leeches,” and blamed them for the “Disintegration of the Moral Fabric” of this country.

They’ve slashed funding for Social Programs that were specifically designed to help Poor, Single Parents.

They’ve fought to deny Poor, Single Parents, and Their Children access to Health Care saying, “No one goes without health care in America. After all, you just go to an emergency room.”

And Now?

Now, they say, in regard to Sarah Palin’s daughter, “This is a Personal Matter,” and that the Palin’s are a “Typical American Family.”

And We say to the Republicans, We Agree.

What we don’t agree with is, a Political Party that vilifies Single Parents when it benefits them Politically.

What we don’t agree with is, a Political Party that wants to Force Poor, Single Women to carry out their Pregnancies, regardless of the Situation, only to Desert them after their children are born.

What we don’t agree with is, the idea that the only Single Parents who deserve respect are those lucky enough to live in the Governor’s Mansion.

What we don’t agree with is, “Morality,” at least as far as the Republicans are concerned, being Malleable, and Subject to Change whenever the Republicans find themselves in a Troublesome Situation.

Yes, Bristol Palin should be in our Prayers, but so too, should the thousands of other young parents in this Country who were Deserted by the Republicans, and Left to “Pull Themselves Up by Their Bootstraps.”

From there, the Democrats could segue into an Honest discussion about Abortion (Something I think many Americans, moi included, would love to have).

Abortion is one of the most troubling Moral Issues We Face as a Nation. Abortion has scarred millions of Lives, and Polarized this Country to such an Extent, that it may take years or even decades before we are able to sit at the same table again.

Yet, Republicans want you to believe the Issue of Abortion is no more difficult to solve than a Basic Math Problem.

The Republicans claim that by Banning Abortion, and Teaching Abstinence Only, Unwanted Pregnancies will Magically Disappear.

Line up the numbers, subtract one from the other, and Presto, Bingo!, Problem Solved.

We’ve seen this same Philosophy at work in the “War and Drugs,” and today, many illegal drugs are not only less expensive, and more potent than ever before, they are more Readily Available. Today, we have hundreds of thousands of Americans in prison, their lives ruined by Drugs, because the Republican philosophy is, “Punish first, and Ask Questions, Never.”

Republicans claim to be the “Party of Morality,” a Party of “Christians,” yet, the only part of the Bible they seem to remember is the Old Testament, when God was “Vengeful, and Angry.”

Simply Banning Abortion is a Half-Hearted, and Dishonest Position.

Abortion is an Extraordinarily Complex Issue, and until we Address it as such, we are never going to Find a Solution.

We must address the Causal Factors behind Abortion: Poverty, Hopelessness, Lack of Education, Irresponsibility, Fear. And until we do, neither side can claim they have the only “Right Answer.”

People who make mistakes need to know they will not be Vilified, and used during Elections to garner votes. They need to know that even if their mother isn’t a Republican Governor, they will not be Abandoned.

Our Young People need More Sex Education, not Less, so they can make Decisions based on Facts, instead of Hysteria, and Fear.

Americans need access to Counseling, and Community Support. They need better Jobs, and Job Training that will prepare them for the Future, so they can believe in the Future.

Our Young People need access to Quality Education that teaches them to Think, and Problem Solve. Not  Memorize, and Forget. They need an Education System that prepares them to become productive members of Society not one that tells them “If you make a mistake, you, and your school will be Punished.”

This is how we address not only the Abortion Problem, but the Myriad of Social Problems we currently face in this Country.

If people have a Future they can truly believe in, they are less likely to make life Altering Mistakes.

Simply telling young people, “Don’t Have Sex or Else,” will not End Unplanned Pregnancies in this Country.

Etc, etc, etc, ad infinitum, repeten, and so on…

Anyway, that’s what I’d say. Or, at least, part of what I’d say.

My speech would probably be much Looonger, and have a few “Mother Fuckers,” and “Sister Kissing, Goat Humping, Possum Eating, Dumbshit Rednecks” thrown in for good measure. Oh, and maybe a Rear Naked Choke, and a Shin Bone to the Dome.

Here’s what one of Mc Cain’s advisers said-

“Clearly we intend to stay on offense,” said Rogers. “That’s what we need to do because the campaign is fundamentally about him. We feel comfortable about the ads we’re running and arguments we’re marking.”

In other words, “We have no Moral Objection to Lying.”


~ by fairlane on September 21, 2008.

16 Responses to “My Neighbor’s Car Was Crushed by a Tree. And in Related News, It Took Me Seven Days to Write This Post”

  1. Why are you people going around with your pants down?

    Is that the neighbor that walks funny?

    Sarah P is a half-wit. Hasn’t anybody noticed this?

  2. Glad you survived the Wrath of Ike. This post was worth the wait and I hope everyone who reads it steals your talking points.

  3. Welcome back, Quiet Man. I wondered how you were doing. What a great post. If only…..

  4. Glad that you made it through the storm. So, did you get to chat up your Fine Neighbor over the past seven days? Just curious. As for the election…I’m focusing on whether I should invest in canned goods. The meltdown just put the final nail in McCain’s campaign. Only the waiting follows….

  5. Glad you’re OK and back in the blogosphere! I was starting to worry when you didn’t update.

    Great post, you make a lot of excellent points and I hope Obama’s advisors are reading this!

  6. maybe you should go with out power more often. it seems to charge you up. but whadda i know? 😉 Good stuff. Personally I like the ‘just say no’ philosophy… just say no to conservative bull shit.

  7. dont matter as long as u safe and still writting

  8. Glad you made it through the storm.

    A few months before we got here, there was an earthquake in Hawaii and the power was out for three days. The funny thing is that when people talk about it, I’m bummed that I missed it. It seemed like most people enjoyed it and had a good time. I also heard that the stars were amazing from Waikiki beach.

  9. I always said Kentucky blows, and I was right.

    Now then, Fairlane, I think you’re getting all soft on us. I counted only two fucks (a gerund and a noun), only one shit, and you expounded at length on single parenthood. You had that beautiful daughter of yours about during this storm, didn’ja?



  10. Good post.

  11. If the Dems actually did any of this, the next round, whatever’s your poison, is on me.

  12. Palin’s simply unfit. Abortion is just one of the 387,562,419 reasons, but way, way up there. But I’d say simply unfit is #1.

  13. You live in Louisville? My mom lives there! I visisted there twice in the last two years. Nice place, and I’m thinking of moving there next year. 🙂

  14. Suzi- I’ll gladly offer my services to Obama for a small fee, and a cabinet position.

    DCup- Believe it or not, I am actually a fairly quiet person. Of course, it’s because I’m always up to no good, and don’t want to draw too much attention to myself.

    Pissed- She’s as good as married. So, I’m relegated to looking or gawking, whatever.

    Maui- If Obama’s advisers are reading this, I’ll take 150 grand a year, a corner office, a daily stipend, complete medical coverage, and a company car (Honda FCX Clarity. No Fords, GM’s or Dodges).

    Okjimm- I was glad to have my power back, but there was a part of me that hoped it stayed off forever.

    Fewer distractions.

    Raw- I don’t think I can stop writing, even if I wanted. It’s one of the few ways I have to clear some of the clutter out of my head.

    Jen- Great to see you around.

    Broken glass is amazing in Hawaii.

    Ten- She hated not having power, except when it was time to light the candles. She enjoyed that very much.

    I’m not sure if I should worry.

    As for “going soft,” I thought I’d try something new. You know, to shake things up a bit. Keep’em guessing.

    Besides, I’ve resigned myself to the fact that yet again we are stuck watching the Democrats, and Republicans arm in arm as they perform the Dance of the Living Dipshits.

    DED- Good comment.

    I like concision.

    Randal- I think you’re wallet is safe. Well, not really, but it’s safe from having to purchase me a high quality alcoholic beverage.

    UnCon- So, what you’re saying is, “Palin Sucks?”

    Chris- Don’t do it man. Our state motto is “Abandon hope, all ye’ who enter here.”

    Seriously, if you have any kind of respiratory allergies, stay away. You’ll be miserable three quarters of the year.

    And why in the Hell would you move to Louisville from the West Coast? Are you Mad?

    I know, your “Mom.” Tell mom to pack her shit, and Head West.

    Do you really want to live in a state that’s home to the “Creation Museum?”

  15. Power and the internet are so overrated. I like the quiet. 7 days is a long time for no fridge though.
    The dems are such doormats. They can’t see a good op when even when it smacks them upside the head.

  16. Fairlane… I have no excuse for missing this post, but you’ve nailed on this one, too. It seems to me that there’s much too much focus on McCain and Palin as evil-doing, lying, hypocrites (which they are) and not enough of what you’ve done here, which is to offer workable solutions. Thanks.

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