Impressions of Sarah Palin: Followed by a Brief Plea to “Joe Six-Pack.”
Sarah Palin began last night’s debate with a question-
Is it okay if I call you Joe?
Garsh Nabbit, she’s so Folksy.
At this point in my life, I don’t really know what to say about Republicans anymore. They’ve Insulted me, and just about everyone I know, in Every Way Imaginable.
And last night was No Exception.
I don’t know, maybe I’m simply too Cynical, but I’m not Interested in having a “Buddie” in the White House.
I already have a Favorite Aunt.
But there was Sarah Palin with her “Ya’s,” and “Nuculurs,” and “Hockey Moms,” and Moronic Winks playing to, Hell, I have absolutely no Idea.
All I know is, it Sure as Shit Wasn’t Me.
Look, I’ll be the first to admit, Marge Gunderson is quite possibly the Most Adorable character in Film History.
I absolutely Loved Marge.
But there’s a Reason Marge was relegated to serving as a Police Chief, in a Nowhere Town.
Anything more would ZAP her “Folksy” Head.
Marge was Exactly where she belonged, and she was Cool.
Not so much.
She has her Eyes Set on the Big Time.
Sarah Palin is not only an Insult to the Position for which she’s running, She’s an Insult to those she is attempting to Seduce.
Her Performance was so Obvious, so Contrived, at one point, I wondered Out Loud if Palin was Playing off Tina Fey’s now legendary Caricature.
A Self-Parodying Parody of a Parody.
“Joe Six Pack?”
In my former occupation, we have another name for “Joe Six Pack,” we call him,
And don’t we already have a “Joe Six Pack” in the White House?
And isn’t Old Joe about as Popular as, the Ebola Virus?
Yepper, he’s pretty much made uh Darn Tootin’ mess a’ things.
In fact, it may be a Decade or More before we are able to Repair the Damage left by “Joe,” and his “Six Pack.”
Apparently, Palin, the Mc Cain campaign, and the majority of their Constituents didn’t get the Memo.
Nope, they’re Still Rolling with the same Tired Ass Meme that worked Wonders in 2000.
“Vote for Me. I hang out at the Local Bar, just LIKE YOU!”
Am I the only one that finds this Worrisome? No, not Worrisome, DISTURBING!
Do Republicans really believe “Beerability” is the only Qualification Necessary for a Potential President?
Say it ain’t SO, Joe.
Is it really more Important to Republicans HOW a Candidate says Something rather than What They Actually Say?
If Obama, and Biden began using “Pretty Darn’s,” and “Don’tcha Knows?” would that be enough to Sway You?
What if, during the Next Debate, Obama Winks at you, while smiling that same Glib Smile on which Palin depends whenever it Dawns on Her just How Out of Her Element She Is?
Would that be enough?
Come On, Joe. I cannot allow myself to believe you’re as Fucking Stupid as THEY THINK YOU ARE.
I just can’t.
It’s not Humanly Possible.
She’s Runnin’ Game, Joe,
She wants to Turn You Out.
You have a Choice.
Isn’t that what you always tell other people, Joe?
That they have a Choice?
How much more Regret can you Swallow?
Isn’t the Shame of Supporting Chimpy enough to at least make you Question your Judgment?
If only a Little?
You were just as Sure in 2000, and in 2004, but now, Now you KNOW you were Wrong, Joe.
In fact, you’re Embarrassed. Afraid to admit it in Mixed Company.
You Were Rooked.
The time has come, Joe, to face the reality that is Your Booby Trapped Life, and to Admit it is you, not the “East Coast Elites,” or the “Liberal Media,” or even the “Republicans,” setting the Traps.
No, Joe, you have no one to blame, but-
Folksy ain’t a Virtue.
It’s a Myth, a Caricature invented on the Cutting Room Floor.
Don’t be an Asshole, Joe.