Wingnuts, Wealth Redistribution, and What Was Palin Wearing?
There is a great deal of Yammering about “Wealth Redistribution” coming from Lower Wingnuttia these days.
Everywhere you turn you hear Winguts rolling out the “S,” and “C” words, in an attempt to recapture the Former Glory of the Mc Carthy Era.
Why, even “Joe the Not Plumber, and Tax Evader” is Up in Arms over Obama’s plan to take a Piece of His Piece of the Pie, and give it to Lazy Coloreds, Illegal Aliens, and Members of Al-Qaeda.
Glory Be, Obama’s gonna turn ‘Merica in’a tha’ Soveeut Yurnyun!
The Sky Is Falling!
Christ, it’s almost Impossible to Keep Up with the Wingnuts, and their Freak Out du jour.
When do they have time to Eat or to spend with their Families?
Do they bring the kids along to the Meetings so, they, Too, can learn to Live Forever on Edge?
They must because there’s simply No Way to Conceal such High Levels of Anxiety. Kids are Smart, and eventually they’ll Notice your Finger Nails are chewed to the Quick.
In a Small Way, I Feel Sorry for the Wingnuts.
Living in a Perpetual State of !RED ALERT! has to be Exhausting, and it’s no Wonder so Many of Them have Nasty Dispositions.
And the truly Perturbing Aspect is, 99% of the Shit that gets the Wingnut’s Freak Flag Flying, Inevitably turns out to be Complete, and Utter Bullshit.
To paraphrase the Late Rick James-
The Stress Hormone Cycle is a Helluva’ Drug.
Oh, What a Wicked Web the Wingnuts have Inadvertently Weaved.
The more they Whip themselves into a Frenzy, the more Susceptible to Stress, and its Long Term Effects They Become.
A Self-Perpetuating cycle of Destruction.
(I’d bet my last nickel Wingnuts have Shorter Lifespans).
So, the Wingnuts are in Full On “He’s a Commie” Mode, and I can’t help wondering-
Do these Dummies Think before running off at the Mouth?
Seriously, listening to some guy from Mississippi bitch, and moan about the “Redistribution of Wealth” is equivalent to Chuck Norris criticizing someone for their Dye Job.
Really? You want to go there?
The Dye Job?
If you live in one of those “Red States,” you need to Keep Your Pie Hole Closed whenever the discussion turns to the “Redistribution of Wealth.”
Well, check this out-
1. New Mexico- $2.03
2. Mississippi- $2.02
3. Alaska- $1.84
4. Louisiana- $1.78
5. West Virginia- $1.76
6. North Dakota- $1.68
7. Alabama- $1.66
8. South Dakota- $1.53
9. Kentucky- $1.51
9. Virginia- $1.51
10. Montana- $1.47
What is that you Ask?
My Friends, that is the Redistribution of Wealth Top Ten.
For each dollar those states pay to the Feds, that’s what they Get Back.
Talk about “Welfare.”
For every $1.00 Mississippi pays in Federal Taxes, they Receive $2.02 in Return (That’s Chimpy Math).
Get it Now?
That, is “Wealth Redistribution,” on a National Level.
And you People have the Audacity to Whine about “Socialism?”
Are you Fucking Kidding Me?
Look here, “Red Staters,” without the “Redistribution of Wealth,” your States would have Exactly-
That’s right, Gomer.
Need a New School?
Too Fucking Bad.
Roads Worn Out?
Garsh, we sure could use a New Bridge?
Best start chopping down some trees, and get ta’ building yourselves a couple Canoes.
Oh, just in case you’re wondering about the Rest of the List.
Eighteen out of the Top 20 Welfare Recipients are “Red States.”
And Good Old Commie California?
California gets $0.78 for every Ducket they Pay (That’s 78 Cents).
Yep, those Old Commie Bastards are not only Paying for their Shit, they’re also Paying for YOURS!
Ain’t that a Bitch?
Hardly seems Fair. Especially the way you “Real Americans” constantly Bad Mouth the “anti-American, Leftist Coast.”
On a more local level, I’ll use my Fine State, Kentucky, as a Shining Example of the Glories of Wealth Redistribution.
Did you know that despite the fact that Louisville only has around 25% of the State’s population, We, for some Inexplicable Reason, are stuck Paying over 40% of the State’s Taxes?
Can someone Explain that to me because the way I learnt Math, 25 ain’t equal ta’ 40?
Imagine if the Citizens of Louisville finally got Fed Up with the Cletus’, and Clem’s out in the Holler talking Shit about all Us “Godless Libruls,” and decided-
Fine, Fuck You! From now on, pay for your own Goddamn Oxycontin.
I bet Clem would change his mind Quicker’n a Broke Dick Dog Smack Dab n’a Middul uh’fa Rabid Coon Fight.
Ah, that would never happen. The Truth Is, the Majority of People don’t mind so much because they Understand we’re all in this Together, and if we let the Hazard, and Boone Counties of America Sink, there wouldn’t be anyone left to Mow the Grass.
Ha, Ha, Ha.
Mow the Grass?
That was an “Elitist” Joke.
Nah, Ah’s jus pullin’ yer Leg.
We, for the most part, Care about you People, even though you behave as Ungrateful Children.
But you need to Wake Up, and Soon!
You’re Wearing Thin, Red America.
People are getting Tired of the Sky Falling every Fifteen Fucking Minutes.
I recognize Irony is Beyond You, but I’m not Asking for a Miracle.
All I’m asking is, Please, for Once in Your Life-
In other words, Study a Subject before you COME TO A FUCKING CONCLUSION!
Your “Gut Feeling” ain’t Good Enough No More.
(I mean, some of you have Guts so Unfathomably Large, they’re more than likely Devoid of Nerve Cells anyway, which makes the whole “Gut Feeling” argument Devoid of Logic).
Get It Together, Wingnuts!
If you don’t like “Socialism,” MOVE!
Get a Job, in a CITY!
Get off the Farm, and Return the Subsidy Money.
You have a Problem with the “Redistribution of Wealth?”
Get on the Horn, after reading the rest of this post, and tell your State Rep-
Hey, Bootlicker, we don’t need that New School or that New Bridge…or Roads. The people who Earned the Money Should Get to Keep the Money.
~ by fairlane on October 28, 2008.