Bail’em Out, Bail’em Out, Shish-Boom-BAH!!
So, GM, Chrysler, and Ford are asking for a piece of the Bailout Pie?
While we’re at it, how about reserving all Donated Organs for people over the age of 87?
I mean, why waste a Perfectly Good Heart on someone who may actually use it?
No, that’s Crazy Talk.
The “Big Three.”
Yep, let’s Bail’em Out because, well, they Deserve It.
While the Rest of the World caved after the Oil Embargo of the 1970’s, and began making Automobiles that were actually Worth a Shit, American Car Manufacturers said,
Nah. We have our hand Firmly on the Pulse of the American Consumer, and we know what they Really Want-
And Garsh Bliggedy, were they Ever Right!
I can’t count how many nights I tossed and turned in bed because I was so Excited by the Prospect of One Day being able to Purchase my Very Own Dodge Omni GT.
I know I’m not the Only One.
Sure, Honda came out with something called the “Civic” around this time-
And sure, the “Civic” turned out to be one of the Most Successful, Well Made, Affordable, Fuel Efficient Cars in History.
But did the “Civic” come in Metallic Pea Green or Sofa from that John Holmes Porn Right Before He Died Gold?
I don’t think so.
Do you know how many former Assistant Managers at Radio Shack got their First Glimpse of the Female Nipple in the Backseat of one of those American Made Beauties?
Well, neither do I, but I’m sure it’s at least 7 or 8.
Ah, the Golden Shower, Er, Age of the Automobile.
Yep, let’s Bail’em Out because allowing them to Sink would be downright Unpatriotic.
I mean, since the 1970’s, American Car Manufacturers have learned their lesson, right?
Can someone, please, explain to me how you go from this-
I will give them credit. After 30 plus years, America finally made a Civic-
Unfortunately, our “Civic” is made out of Melted Bottle Caps, and Old Plastic Spoons.
Of course, Wingnuts are blaming the Unions for the Mess in Detroit.
It’s the “Union’s Fault.”
The Working Man, Average Joe, Joe Six-Pack is always to Blame.
It wasn’t enough for Joe to cause the Banking Meltdown because he thought he should have the Right to Own a House, Oh, No, he had to go and Sink Detroit, too.
This has NOTHING to do with Hubris, Laziness, Lack of Ingenuity/Foresight, Indifference, and Greed.
These are not the Droids You’re Looking For.
Nope, Joe Six-Pack, with his Bad Attitude, and Sense of Entitlement is the Reason the “Big Three” are about to Collapse for the 15th Fucking Time.
American Car Manufacturers ignored Advances in Technology, they Ignored the Reality that Oil is a Finite Resource, they Ignored Trends in the Auto Industry, they Ignored the Impact of Globalization, they Bet their Futures on SUV’s, and they made Cars that were Unreliable, Chintzy, and Downright Fucking Ugly.
Joe was, Behind. It. All.
While the Japanese focused on Reliability, Fuel Efficiency, and Quality, the “Big Three” made Expensive Junk.
Even in the 1970’s, it was Obvious the “Big Three” were in Serious Trouble, and that they needed to Change Direction.
But they DIDN’T.
In fact, they Flat Out Refused.
Instead, they attempted to Pull Our Patriotic Heart Strings.
Unfortunately, Most People’s Heart Strings are attached to their Purse Strings, and after spending 1000’s of Dollars to keep their American Heaps Running, Many People Concluded-
You see, Wingnuts, Union Workers are not the Ones Making the Decisions.
They are the Employees, not the E M P L O Y E R S.
The Employers/Owners Decide.
The Union Workers put the Cars together, but they Do Not Design Those Cars.
Toyota came up with this-
Honda Continued to Perfect their Civic-
America, once they finally got around to it, Made Knockoffs.
Okay, I’ll concede the Chevy Aveo is Less Expensive than the Honda Civic.
But if you sit in an Aveo, it’s Obvious why-
Cheep, Cheep, Cheep!
In fact, I believe “Aveo” is Spanish for Crappy, Plastic Bird.
The “Glory Years” of the 50’s, and 60’s created the Illusion that Detroit would dominate the Automobile Market Forever, Regardless.
Detroit was Wrong.
And they’ve been wrong for Decades.
Yes, it’s Absurd that someone with a Ninth Grade Education makes $50 an hour to tighten a Bolt.
I think most people would agree.
But to claim that’s the Reason (And the ONLY Reason) the “Big Three” are Going Under is yet another example of the Rampant Mental Retardation within the Confines of Wingnuttia (By the way, I thought “Joe Six Pack” was a “Blue Collar” type guy. Why does he Hate Himself?)
I could go on, but I’m Tired, and there’s really No Point.
I’ve owned American Cars, and I’ve Owned Foreign Cars.
I’ll never Purchase an American Car Again.
Spending My Time, and Hard Earned Money to Keep a Car Running is Not Something that Interests Me.
If that makes me “Unpatriotic,” then Pass the Borscht on the Left Hand Side, Comrade.
The “Big Three” got away with Making Shit for Far Too Long, and now it’s Time to Pay the Piper.
A “Bail Out” will only Postpone the Inevitable.
(The opinions expressed in this post do not necessarily reflect those of Jonestown, it’s Sponsors or, even, the Author. It’s well within the Realm of Possibility that this post was written under Duress or, at the very least, under the Influence of Psilocybin Mushrooms. Then again, it’s also Possible that He meant every word of it. Who Knows? That was a Rhetorical Question. Or was it? This Blog Makes No Sense).