This Blog Makes No Sense

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I’m thinking of changing Jonestown’s Handle from “Drink Up Bitches,” to “This Blog Makes No Sense.”

Why?

Well, it’s like this.

I received this email the other day-

Your site makes no sense. What are you even talking about?…I’m glad I’m not sick enough to understand.

So, I perused the Galleries, and upon closer examination, I must admit, “Suzi” (That was her Name) might be onto something.

This site doesn’t make any sense.

Why, it’s almost as though the proprietor is a Complete, and Utter Smart Ass with a Penchant for Irony, and Black Humor.

Nah.

I think Drugs might be Involved.

Drugs are Always Involved.

Like on the News-

Two men were shot down in front of Long John Silver’s this morning. Police believe the victims were involved in a drug deal gone Awry.

Ever noticed Drug Deals always go “Awry?”

Why don’t they ever Go the Opposite of Awry?

I mean, they’re buying, and selling Drugs, for God’s Sake~!

Everyone knows Drugs Make You Happy.

What’s with all the Gun Play, and Cap Peelin’?

Why don’t we ever hear?

This morning, after making the Exchange, Two Men Involved in a Drug Deal went Out to Lunch because they had the Munchies. Word on the street is, they’ve become great friends, and plan on spending every Saturday Night Together watching Cheesy Horror Movies while doing Bong Hits.

It doesn’t Make Any Sense.

Speaking of Smoking Weed.

An Especially Dense Wingnut recently explained to me, that there was no way he could Vote for Barack Obama because Obama admitted in one his books, that He Smoked Weed.

According to the Wingnut in question, Obama is a “Criminal,” as are All People who use or have used Drugs.

No Mention of Alcohol, which, BY FAR, has a more Negative, and Immediate Impact on American Society.

In my opinion, it’s because the Incurious Wanker, Drinks, and/or comes from a family where Drug Abuse was Status Quo.

He never Adequately Explained how someone with such an Intolerant Stance could vote for Chimpy Mc Snowblower.

Probably because there is no Explanation.

It doesn’t make any sense.

Speaking of Fraudulent Assholes.

CEO’s from the “Big Three” arrived in Warshington this past week via the Private Jet.

Hmmm.

According to an Investigation by ABC News, the “Big Three” have spent Hundreds of Millions of Dollars to purchase, and maintain Private Jets for their Executives.

Now, think about this, America.

Why were they in Warshington?

That’s right, to BEG FOR MONEY.

Remember, the “Big Three” are in the midst of a “Financial Meltdown.”

In fact, they claim they Don’t Have Enough Money in the Coffers to pay their Employee’s Benefits.

Americans bitch about Homeless People asking for a Dollar, but we Tolerate this?

At least the Homeless Dude has the Brains to Piss Himself, and to Wear Raggedy Clothes before heading out to Panhandle.

Imagine if he got out of a BMW wearing a $5000 Giorgio Armani Suit, and then asked for a Dollar to Fix his “Flat Tire.”

It doesn’t make any sense.

Speaking of Unfathomable Gall.

Nebraska has been forced to Modify its “Safe Haven Law.”

The “Safe Haven Law” allows parents to Leave Abandon Their Children at area Hospitals, with No Questions Asked.

Unfortunately, Nebraskans interpreted “Safe Haven” to mean “Free For All,” and began dropping off their children as though they were Old, Busted Up Sofas.

One Father Left Nine Children, NINE!, ranging in age from 1-17 years old (Who the Fuck has 9 Children?)

By the way, Nebraska is a “Red State.”

Not that that is Surprising, but it is Worth Noting.

So much for “Loving the Innocent Children.”

You know what, Suzi?

You’re Right, This Blog Doesn’t Make Any Sense.

However, in my Defense, Neither Does This Fucking World.

2008-semi-annual-drink-up-bitches-award



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~ by fairlane on November 22, 2008.

18 Responses to “This Blog Makes No Sense”

  1. i’ll smoke to that!

    love you, love the blog (even if it is senseless) but i’ll never drink the koolaid.

  2. I don’t think people could handle the world making sense. It’d be like the average shlub who won the lottery who quits his factory job if he hasn’t been outsourced, overspends, ends up in divorce court and drinks himself to death by the time he’s 52. Wait, that’s going on without the lottery ticket.

    Some days I think we should blow ourselves up and start over, but then we’d have to wait a bit for all this free humor.

  3. You make perfect sense. Should this scare me? Actually it comforts me. I am not entirely alone. I’m of the opinion that I no longer have to listen to wingnut shitheads who are already complaining that the world is now coming to an end because we elected an angry black Muslim as our President. I hope they are pissing themselves as they watch their stock portfolios whoosh down the toilet. But Rush tells them this is the “Obama Recession.” Does that make sense? Oh, and by the way, I live in Utah lest we forget who funded the lobbying in favor of Prop 8. The Mormon “church” runs the government of Utah. And no one with the power to do it is reporting on this or actually making the moves to yank the Mormon’s tax exempt status. That doesn’t make sense.

  4. I tried to read this post, but it made no sense. Then I looked at the pictures, but they made no sense. Stop not making sense, will you?

  5. Well, what can you expect from someone named “Suzi” – obviously she’s a ten year old girl, with a name like that.

  6. I dunno. Made Cents to me. I read the whole thing and ya, know, alla suddent I had 18 cents. And I wasn’t sure if I put down a quarter or a dollar on the counter. But I ended up with 18 cents. I think I gotta good deal.

  7. FAIRLANE: They always make sense to me. It’s been a while but I remember “awry.” I also remember that everytime a high-school student is killed violently, she or he was an “honor student.”

  8. Got to give you credit, you’re funny as hell.

    “Drug deal gone awry” tore me up in the way you presented it.

    Thanks 🙂

  9. I guess that depends on what the definition of “sense” is. Wonder how the other Suzi defines it.

  10. I’m with Scarlet Blue on this one (as well as David Byrne of the Talking Heads): Stop Making Sense, already. All this sense is giving me a headache.

    Sense is boring. Nonsense is truth.

    Eh, figure THAT one out. Ha!

    😉

  11. You know what? It’s coz you don’t make any sense to people like Suzi that we love you.

  12. Libdave- But we have Grape, and Cherry. Are you positive?

    Randal- I’ve had that same thought, but what slows me down is, I don’t know how one obtains Plutonium.

    Utah- The Wingnuts are perpetually unhappy, and paranoid, which is why they’re Wingnuts.

    Empress- I read your comment, and it made a great deal of sense.

    Suzi- I think her real name rhymes with a female body part.

    Mulva?

    OK- Don’t spend it all in one place, and, whatever you do, keep it away from Wall Street.

    Kelso- Yep. The proverbial “Honor Student.”

    For some reason, “Honor Students” always seem to hang around “Gang Members.”

    Ichabod- Glad you enjoyed.

    DCup- Let’s ask her.

    Suzi, what makes “Sense” to you?

    Anita- Makes perfect Sense, to me.

    LE- The feeling is mutual, and congrats on the New, Shiny Baby.

    We need more “Sensible” people having children.

  13. no, fairlane, i’m not POZ…i’m full-blown. but it’s managed with “teh cocktail”.

  14. Cars that run on water make sense.

  15. it would be better if you had your comments button at the end of your articles…..

  16. I remember the time my first dog saw snow. Made no sense to him, but he didn’t understand the seasons. He caught on quickly and adapted, but then again, he got to go back in the house where it was warm and cozy. Shit’s changed too fast in eight years, and it’s snowballing. The world will really make no sense when the avalanche hits soon.

    Okay, okay… I’m having fun with the snow metaphors… if Suzi don’t like it, we can hit her with snowballs…

  17. Lib- Holy Crap, dude.

    It took me a second catch the meaning.

    Dave- Yes, yes, they do.

    Ghost- The only way I can alter the CSS is if I purchase the Upgrade, and I’m not about to do such a thing.

    Kit- For some reason, I get the impression Suzi will not be returning any time soon.

  18. Fairlane… fuck ’em if they don’t get what they’re not supposed to get.

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