Jonestown’s Economic Stimulus Package
After watching, my initial question was-
I wonder if “Fair and Balanced” Fox News had a Follow-Up, and asked those Know Nothing Assholes to Apologize?
My favorite quote came from Droopy Dog Ben Stein (God Almighty, what a Pseudo-Intellectual Shit Heel!)-
Well, the Financials, as I keep saying, are just Super Bargains. I predicted like, uh, Merill Lynch, which is an Astonishingly Well Run Company.
Here’s what happened to those “Well Run Companies” Selected by that Parade of Dimwits-
1) Bailed Out
2) Bought Out
Forget forcing them to Apologize, they should be Forced to stay in their Basements for the Rest of Their Lives.
Oh, they should also be Forced to Pay Back anyone who Listened to Their Advice.
Speaking of “Pay Backs.”
According to the Department of Labor, there are approximately 146,743,000 people currently Employed in the United States. Of those 146 million people, around 2.3% earn $250,000, and above (3.3 Million).
So, here’s my Suggestion for a Real “Economic Stimulus Plan.”
Instead of giving the “Bail Out” Money to a Bunch of Greedy, Ungrateful Bastards, how about Dividing that *Trillion Dollars equally among the 143 Million Americans Making Less Than 250 Grand?
That’s about $7000 a Piece.
Now, I know we’re not talking about Lottery Money, but $7000 would help A LOT of People.
Think about it, Millions of Americans could pay off that Particularly Pernicious Credit Card or they could Pay Off Their Car or, if nothing else, they could Pay Their Mortgage for Three, Four, Five, Six Months.
I know what you’re thinking-
Dumbasses are going to take that money, and buy Rims for their Geo’s or they’ll Restock their Meth Labs.
I’ve Already Anticipated Such a Problem.
Here’s the Solution.
The Government doesn’t Give the Money Directly to Us, but, instead, pays the Money directly toward the Bill/Bills of Our Choice.
This would “Stimulate” the Economy in a Couple of Ways.
1) It would Allow Millions of Americans to Go Out, and Acquire Newer, Shinier Debt.
2) I imagine some people owe money to the companies Begging to be “Bailed Out.” They might not get their Billions, but, at least, they’d get Something.
Genius, I Know.
But Wait, There’s More!
As a Thank You to the American People, who out of the Kindness of Their Hearts Promised Not to Drag Their Sorry Asses Through the Streets, the Fired CEO’s from the Banks, Mortgage Companies, and Automobile Manufacturers would agree to Sell Off ALL of Their Assets, and use the Proceeds to Build the World’s Largest Amusement Park.
Admission will be Free, as will the Games, and Food.
To Earn their Keep, said CEO’s will take Turns Manning the Various Dunking Booths until they are either too Old to Climb into the Tanks, or, they Die from Alcoholism.
Oh, their Trophy Wives will be sent to Plastic Recycling Centers around the Country where, after being Melted Down, they’ll be made into Toothbrushes, Cheesy Combs, and CD Cases.
The only thing I cannot Decide On is, what do we name the Amusement Park?
*I read at Tengrain’s house, that the Bail Out Money is, Eventually, going to be around 7 Trillion Dollars. If that’s the case, then every American making less than $250,000 would Receive $49,000 instead of $7000.