All I Got for Christmas Was a…Crappy Ass Book?
So my sister got me Denis Leary’s new book Why We Suck for Christmas.
I love my sister, but Denis Leary?
Yep, he’s a real Fucking Riot.
I stopped reading after about 20 pages, because there was simply no reason to continue wasting my time.
Denis Leary is NOT FUNNY.
I hate these Fucking “Comedians” who present themselves as, “Straight Shooters.”
If that were true, the first, and only sentence in Leary’s book would be-
I was going to write a book about why Americans Suck, but then it dawned on me, I SUCK TEN TIMES MORE, I apologize.
What really sent me over the edge was the Preface.
In it, Leary warns his audience to prepare themselves to be “Shocked,” “Angered,” and “Offended.”
In other words, he’s really going to Lay It Out, and “Shoot from the Hip” without any regard for “Political Correctness.”
Christ, what a Cunt.
Who the Fuck uses that Phrase?
Douche Bags, Drug Addled Wingnuts, and Unfunny Comedians who still think the word “Pussy” is Shocking.
You wanna know why Americans Suck?
I’ll tell you why-
Americans Suck because they give Chain Smoking Cliches like Denis Leary, Book Deals.
Yes, Denis, Americans are “Fat, Lazy, Self-Absorbed, Semi-Comatose, Under Educated, Marginally Literate, Bitterly Unhappy, and Addicted to Simple Carbohydrates.”
I can only assume you missed the Memo back in ’81 because, Brother, that information is more played out than Pics of Brittney Spears’ Un-Pantied Pussy.
Oh, did I mention he dedicates a section in his book to Brittney Spears’ Twat?
Speaking of Worn Out Pussies getting Book Deals-
What’s up with the Duggar Family?
Just what the World Needs-Eighteen more Incurious White People
I heard they actually had 21 kids, but three of them made the mistake of sitting on mom’s lap, and were never seen or heard from, again-
Here’s an interesting Factoid-
The Duggar’s no longer bring tents along when they take the Kids Camping.
They just have Mom drop her pants, and spread her legs; then they Stake her Labia to the Ground.
But they’re Famous.
Spitting out kids?
Is that even a Skill?
I’m fairly certain you can become Pregnant, Accidentally.
Would Van Gogh still be considered a “Genius” if Art Historians discovered he “Accidentally” painted Starry Night by spilling some paint onto a canvas?
I mean, isn’t that what a Pregnancy, for many people, really is, an Accidental Spillage?
Ooops, I think the Condom Broke.
No worries, we’re sure to Get a Book Deal Now!!!
I’m not saying Kids are not Wonderful Creations, some of them are-
Come On, Duggars.
The DNA was already a Tad Thin before you Started Shitting’em Out like someone with Cholera.
Right, Denis Leary (I almost wrote “Timothy Leary.” Damn, if only he were still around. At least LSD was Funny).
The Coup de’ Grace came when I read this “joke”-
If they build a wall to keep out the Mexicans, who’s going to build the wall?
I’m sure Rush Limbaugh considers that Zinger to be a “Classic,” but Rush Limbaugh is so Emotionally Fragile he can’t Hack living without the Assistance of Cheeseburgers, and Oxycontin.
His opinion, unless it’s on the Subject of Being a Guilt Riddled, Obese, Sanctimonious Junkie, is, Irrelevant.
It’s not that I disagree with Leary’s Thesis-
Yes, We, Americans, Suck.
Everything he says is True.
People like Leary, who get Book Deals only because They’re Famous, are a HUGE Contributing Factor to our Suckedness.
He’s done nothing in his Career to Warrant a Book Deal.
As revenge, Next Christmas, I plan on purchasing my sister Michelle Malkin’s latest book.
I’m sure she has one, after all, God knows Shrill Bitches are a Dying Breed, and we’d better get what one of them has to say on paper before they All Disappear.