Let There Be Light

Taking me to a place like this is about as exciting as saying to me “Let’s fuck.”

Alas, where to begin?

Let’s see…Wait…I know.

Sarah Palooney resigned from office.


And in a surprise to everyone present, Her farewell speech was chock full’a Status Quo Wingnut  “Pay Attention to Me” Paranoia (Here’s an Excerpt)-

Friends, and fellow Self-Righteous, Mud Humping, Haven’t a Fucking Clue About Jack Shit Creationist Whack Jobs, I stand before you today, Proud. Proud to know that I, like you, am not a Mean Old Liberal Meanie Pants. Proud to know that I am not part of the Elite Establishment Hell Bent on being Really Mean, and Nasty, and Hurtful toward people like Myself who are simply trying to Improve their Standing in life by Grifting the plethora of Mouth Breathing Goobers in this country Desperate for a Messiah, No Matter How Absurd, to save them from the Mundanity of their Sad, Meaningless Lives. But I digress, Don’tcha Know? No, I declare there is a reason Jeebus loves us, and that’s because we are the Real America. And the Elites hate us for it. They despise our Patriotism, and Sexually Charged Fascist Sensibilities.  Why, you know, as well as I, if not for that evil pervert David Letterman, a member of the East Coast Elite, my daughter Barn Swallow would still be a viable Poltical Prop instead of a reminder of my Failure as a Parent. Why, it’s almost Redundant, don’tcha Know? Of course you do. The Elites hate Common Folk. They’re jealous of our lives, and the creative ways we use Velveeta. We are the bread, and butter of America. And, obviously, the Elitists hate Bread…and Butter, unless it’s toasted…and brown (If you know what I mean).  Sure, they’re the ones who make all the money, and pay for everything, but…none of that matters because Hussein Nobama, the Liberal Elite’s Shining Example of Multiculturalism, is a Socialist from Kenya (An African country. In Africa!!) sent here by Al Qaida, and the ACLU to steal your Freedom, and your god given right to shoot Defenseless Animals from Helicopters, Hot Air Balloons, Zeppelins, Circus Stilts, Really Tall Ladders, Hovercraft’s,  the roof of a ’76 LTD or the shoulders of a Yeti. That’s right! They hate us, and we all know that means they Hate America! Because we are America. I am America! I gave birth to Freedom (Although I wanted to name him Tractor Pull) And they Hate Me. Little Old Me. Me…Me…Me…Me…Me…Me…Me…Take that Liberal, Biased, Elite, East Coast Media!!!

You get the point.

Christ,  Bloody Pathetic.

Sarah Palooney is forever chomping at the bit for another Minute in the Spotlight.

Can somebody grab Spitoon, and bring him in here? It’s almost time for my Close Up. I’ve been working really hard on my Sincerity, (Wink, Wink), don’tcha Know?

The depth of Palooney’s Vapidity is so Beyond, any attempt to comprehend it is equivalent to trying to comprehend Eternity, in Reverse.

But what should I expect?

We are speaking about a group of people Openly Hostile toward Education, and the Educated, are we not?

Buncha’ Goddamned Elitists is what they is!*!

No coincidence the people who coined “Victimology” are its Most Able Practitioners.

The GOP-Where nothing is Outrageous because everything IS.

I will say, I find it  heartening  to see/hear others in Blogtopia, and elsewhere go after Palooney, and her Incessant Cry Babying.

The truth is, if Palooney were a “Liberal,” the Wingnuts would attack her for being “Weak,” “Too Sensitive,” “Overly Emotional,” and forever in a “That time of the Month” state.

I can hear Junk Limbaugh now-

We all know how they Are. What if she’s in the middle of an international crisis, and she’s stricken by a bout of the Womanly Boo Hooing? What then? Will she surrender our Freedoms because she’s feeling bloated, and unloved?

Ah, but she’s a Wingnut. And in Wingnuttia, as we all know, the Laws of Science do not Apply.

No, in their Bent World, Palooney is as Genuine as a Pair of Wranglers.

She’s the face of “Modern Conservatism” (A Misnomer if there ever was one), and By God, she’s going to Carry the Party the rest of the Way.

Drill, baby, Drill!

To Oblivion, and Beyond.

The dead have awakened, Y’all.

2008-semi-annual-drink-up-bitches-award

A Poetic Justice

All The way From Oy To Vey

Angry & Black Since 1976

Angry Ballerina

Baby Boomer Advisor Club

Black Wednesday

Blogging with Badger

Blondesense

Blue Gal

Bushmerika 2

Cannablog

Chen Zhen

citiZENMINDful

Clapsotronics

Club Troppo

Coffee Messiah

Crooks and Liars

Current Jam

Dancy’s Corner

Dashiell

Democratic Underground

Distributor Cap NY

Ditch Mitch (McConnell)

Dynamo in a Box

Editorials From Hell’s…

Electronic Cerebrectomy

Existentialist Cowboy

First Freedom First

Fran I Am

Freida Bee

From the Left

Gathering Up the Pebbles

Get Your Own

Hairshirt

Hill’s Country

HJ’s House of Pancakes

House of the Rising Sons

I Can’t Believe It’s Not Democracy

I Was Just Wondering

I, Splotchy

Illiterate Electorate

Jon Swift

Journeys with Jood

Just Ain’t Right

Keep It Trill

Kelso’s Nuts

L’ennui mélodieux

Left of Centrist

Legal Eagle

Let’s Talk

Liberality

Liquid Illuzion

Little Bang Theory

Little Country Lost

Little Indian

Maggie’s Madness

Mathman

Maui Girl

Media Needle

Migration

Mock, Paper, Scissors

Monastic Mumblings

Morgan’s Musings

Morning Martini

Much That Is Hidden

My Left Wing

My Saturday Evening Post

My Thought World

Not Soccer Mom

Okjimm’s Eggroll Emporium

Ominpotent Poobah’s Photoblog

Omnipotent Poobah

Opit’s Linkfest

Pagan Sphinx

perpetual dawnne

Phantsy That

Pharyngula

Phydeaux Speaks

Plain View

politickybitch

Politits (D-Cup)

Progressive Blog Digest

PSoTD

Pygalgia

Rational Psychic

Raw Dawg Buffalo

realitology

Reconstitution 2.0

Reverend Manny and the Twilight Empire

Roc Rebel Granny

skepticlawyer

Skippy the Bush Kangaroo

some notes on Living

Stringer

Suzi Riot

Suzie-Q

The Dedly Blog

The Field Negro

The Great Endarkenment

The House of Flying Monkeys

The Onion

The Public Intellectual

The Self Help Center

ThePoliticalCat

TPC CultureVultures

Un:Enslaved

Unconventional Conventionist

Utah Savage

West Virginia Blue

Westcoast Walker

Withinsight

WTF Is It Now

Wyld’s Q and A

Zaius Nation

Zen Cabin


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~ by fairlane on July 28, 2009.

17 Responses to “Let There Be Light”

  1. Mooselini is the gift that keeps on giving, the shining city on the hill, the turd that cannot be flushed.

    Regards,

    Tengrain

  2. Oh, and I meant to add, “Junk Limbaugh!” – that’s priceless. I think you have coined a winner.

    Rgds,

    T.G.

  3. The apocalypse is surely upon us – you are back!!! And I could not be more delighted, the rapture will happen and we will be rid of a bunch of asshats AND you are blogging. Goddam that is good. How the fuck are you man?

  4. Don’t forget BuelahMan’s RedState Revolt

    http://buelahman.wordpress.com/

  5. Yay! Fairlane is back! and Jonestown is open for tearing down the facades of the self-righteous and the would be saviors of all political flavors once again.

    Welcome back, Fairlane!

  6. You had me at Problem Child. What a fucking riff.

  7. HA! So you got the keyboard fixed after all!

  8. Excellent!

  9. yep, the rumors of my demise were greatly exaggerated.

  10. I know you were off hiding with Osama bin Laden in Northwest Pakistan smoking the finest shit grown in the fields of nearby Afghanistan, trying to talk him into returning to the U.S. so you could collect the $20 million bounty the Feds placed on his head.

  11. There really is a (blog) God.

  12. I keep hoping Palin, desperate for the big bucks, will agree to do a porn film with her almost-son-in-law Levi. No way even Limbaugh could spin that one.

  13. Sarah who?

  14. P.S. Politits is dead. Can you change me to http//llisahgolden@blogspot.com? I’m leaving the political blogging to the experts.

  15. Damn, I got your message and came right over to say ‘Yowza’ and ‘Hurray’ but that message isn’t here. So I’ll say again.. 🙂

  16. I appreciate it guys, and guyettes.

    Lisa- Done, and done.

  17. Thanks, Fairlane!

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