The Zany Adventures of Barack Obama, and His Rainbow People
I decided to Repost this because I know A lot of you out there are Worried about Obama’s sudden Indifference to Health Care Reform.
This one of a kind, “Heard It Here First” Post will not only answer most of your questions, but will also give you an excuse to Get Drunk Every Night for the Next Six Months.
(Originally Aired- February 20, 2008)
When last we left off, our Intrepid Hero (Barack “Hope-a-Lot Bear” Obama) was defending all that is Hopeful, and Decent against the Nefarious “Borg Queen,” and her Dreaded Band of Negativity Nellies-
“I have a Dream,(1)” and in this Dream I see an America United against the Meanies. The Meanies bent on bringing down our “Rainbow Coalition(2)” of Peace, Love, Understanding, and All Around Beautamusness.
And I ask you, “What’s So Funny ‘Bout Peace, Love, and Understanding?(3)”
Nothing, that’s right. They’re Wonderful, and Fill Our Hearts with an Eternal Hopeful Hopefulness.
In the Face of such a Foe, “Let Us Not Wallow in the Valley of Despair.(1)” Let us not Waiver, we must never Waiver, never Fear because “The Only Thing We Have to Fear, Is Fear Itself,(4)” and the Day we Give into Fear is “A Day Which Will Live in Infamy.(4)”
Yayyyyy!!! Oh, YAAAAYYY!!!! WOOO HOOO!!!!
I Think I Came a Little.
It’s okay my Brothers, and Sisters, for “I Have a Dream,(1)” and in this Dream we all Come Together.
Can you Feel Me?!!!!
WOOOO HOOOO!!! YES, YES, YES, OH MY GOD YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!
We must not Let Ourselves be Distracted from the Cornucopia of Yummy Rainbows that Awaits Us.
We Must Focus Our “Eyes On the Prize,(5)” and let the “Light Shine Through.(6)” So,Taste My Rainbowy Goodness, and Fill Yourselves with My Abundance of Sweet Candyliciousness.
Yayyyyy!!!! A Wholesome Bounty of Tender Joyfulness!!!!
That’s Right My Children, Feast, Feast, and Embrace This Bountiful Harvest.
“Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for freedom by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred. (1)” I say No!!! NO, to the Negative Nellies, and Their Un-kindlessness.
They have yet to Taste the Candy Corn of Dreams, or the Gumdrops of Sweet Tender Lovedness, and Until They do we Must Not Judge Them or Ask Them to Eat Circus Peanuts no matter how Un-Lovingly they Act.
For they are our Brothers, and Sisters, and We Must Watch After Them. We Must Lead them to Higher Ground. A Higher Ground where Humans, and Rainbows Extend their Hands in Peace, as they Exchange Pleasantries, and Stock Tips.
I’m overcome with your Scrumpdiliciousness. Will you Autograph my Mons?
I Look Forward with Creamy Nougatedness to finding your “Pot of Gold” at the end of my Rainbow My Sister.
BOOOOOOO!!! PHONY!!! FRAUD!!!! BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! HISSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!
Hey dude, you’re like bringing the Bad Mojo down on our Parade of Goodliestlessness.
Don’t be a Negative Nellie, turn that Frown Upside Down, and Partake in a Heaping Helping of Healthfullish Hope.
BOOOOOOO!!! SCOUNDREL, SNAKE OIL SALESMAN, FALSE PROPHET, PLAGIARIST!!!!! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Do not fret my children. Let me Dish out a Taste of some of Our Goodliness to our Lost Friend.
Patow, Kerblang, Sproinggggg!!!!
Wow!!!! Whatever was I thinking? I see your Dream now that I’m Wide Asleep. Thank you my Dear Brother. Oh Thank You, Thank You. Praised be his Name, and may all Surrender Themselves to His Dreamy Dream of a Hope Filled Rainbow of Orgamasitronic Bliss.
Clean up in aisle Siii…Muh Pants!!!!
Now you can feel My Surge!!! Praise Be His Name, and pass the Napkins because that Glazed Doughnut was both Yummedly, and Messy!!!
Stay Strong People!! “Raise Your Hands in the Air, and Wav’em Round Like Ya Just Don’t Care. (8)”
I’m off, but I shall Return Soon, and when I do, it will be in Triumphedlyness!!!
And with that he is away. Away to that land Among the Clouds where a Rainbow is more than just a Rainbow.
Meanwhile, high above the Earth, unnoticed by Satellite or Enamored Americans…
This is 12 of 13 to the Borg Cube. Can you hear me? All is proceeding as planned. The humanoids will soon be Assimilated, and the Earth Shall Be Ours.
This is the Hive Ship. We are pleased to hear that 12 of 13. Return to the Ship immediately. The Queen wishes to meet with you.
I’m en route now. 12 0f 13 out.
B of Jorn out.
In a secluded part of the Hive Ship…
Wha’s tha status of ‘er Mission Queen? Is it Accomplished? Ah have a banner made up n’ everythin’.
Keep your Cool Chimpy of II. We still have a great deal of work to do before we can go hanging banners.
Gosh dern it. Ah’s really likes muh banners, n’ such.
I know you do Chimpy of II, but Patience. Patience.
Queen, Pardon the Interruption, but you have an incoming Urgent Message from One of None.
Put them through B of Jorn.
Queen this is One of None, can you read me?
Proceed with your report One of None.
Our plan is ahead of schedule. These Humanoids Bitches be Eatin’ this Hope Shit like a Hooker at a Bukkake Party.
Excellent One of None. Return to the Hive Ship, and we will prepare for our invasion.
Soon the World will tremble beneath the Might of the Borg, and they Too Shall Be Assimilated. For Resistance is Futile.
I feel ya Queen!!! Resist this Mutha Fuckas!!!!!
Change is on its Way.
To be continued…?
1) Martin Luther King Jr.
2) Jesse Jackson
3) Elvis Costello
5) Henry Hampton
6) R. Kelly
7) Various Wingnut Politicians
8) Various Rappers