Give My Regards to Sarah Palin

Sarah Palin, according to the Eeeleet Medi-uh… is-

Opposed to Political Correctness

and from my perspective- that’s Fantastically Great Fucking Fox News.

As of today, I shall be removing the Oh So Cumbersome “Chromosomally Challenged” characterization from my World Renowned, Much Loved, Oft Fretted Over, and All Around Lust Inducing Lexicon, and replacing it with the more user friendly (But Equally Effective, and Alliterative)-

MENTAL midget.


Straight No Chaser.

Done it like a Man Done it.

To be honest, I never understood all the Hubbub anyway.

After all, only a fool would attempt to say-

Don’t worry, Bill, those gloves are made from halocarbon. They’re Flame ChromosomallyChallengedant.

Not only is it damn near impossible, it doesn’t make any Fucking Sense.

Surely Sarah understands, and will Loosen Up.

Shit. Don.t. Hold. Your. Breath.

Unless you happen to be a Palindrone, then, by all means, Hold Your Breath. In fact, forget holding your breath. Too easy to cheat. A Rope is much more Effective (WInk, WInk, Nod, Nod. You Betcha!)

Please. With Lipstick on tOp.

(By the by, I want credit for “Palindrone.” My sense of Civic Duty has its limits, dear readers. After all, I already gave you Wingnuttia, Wingnuttery, Wingnunnery, Junk Limbaugh, the Carebear, and Sanctimonious Cunt free of charge. I’m almost certain Sainthood is in the Proverbial Bag).


As I was saying, the odds of the Vermicious Knid complying ain’t exactly favorable. Bitch’s lack of concern for the General Well Being of, well, Beings, is only rivaled by Sweeney Todd’s Straight Razor.

Of course, that isn’t her role. Is it? She’s no “Nurturer,” which would be a sure sign of Surrender to that Gaggle of Elitist East Coast Sissified Pussies Hellbent on Handing Over America’s Cod Piece to the Highest Bidder.

No, siree. Don’tcha Know?!!

She’s Feminized Ultra-Violence.

the FASCIST superwoman.

Her Camel Toe



the outline of Butcher’s Shears.

Her birth canal the latest refuge for the White Man’s Rage.



Razor Wire.

purveyor of Disingenuous Revenge-

from Polystyrene Soapbox.

she Feigns Outrage.


soulless Heathens!

Enemies of the State!!

and make no mistake, kind readers-

they believe her. need her. worship her.

her coal black, blow up doll eyes-

fire the furnaces of their rage.

a promise of Eternal War-

and a Return to Glory.

Long Live the


Long Live

das Herrenvolk!!

but as with everything else, her claims of PUrity are

nothing more than


the promise of an Alcoholic Father.

her gene SeQUenCe





her Eroticism-



an Androgynous Batman

to Malkin’s Buck Toothed, Bleating, Ethnically Endowed Robin.

the contents of her brassiere-


her panties


an Apocalyptic Cream-sickle

Cynically pre-packaged for



~ by fairlane on April 11, 2010.

10 Responses to “Give My Regards to Sarah Palin”

  1. You have a way with words, Fairlane, no doubt about it.

    I’m guessing you have your way with a lot of things.



  2. The fact that Fascist Barbi is taken seriously by anyone proves we’re living in a culture tailor made for idiots.

  3. I just might perform that one our next reading.
    BTW She is all those things and so much more. It hurts that she is what we are being spoon-fed. It is truly a shell game (Bob Dole vs BC) it is by design. Just like oil in the Atlantic.

  4. I boldly predicted that Saran Palin would disappear right after the election, proving once more that I am wrong much more than I am correct and that some of my friends know a sucker bet when they hear one. So what is a few six=-packs amongst friends? I continually over-estimate Amerikan intellectual capabilities.

  5. I second Tengrain. That was wonderful.

  6. What Tengrain and Pissed said… excellent.

  7. you dudes, and dudettes are the bee’s knees.

    ok- never underestimate the power of denial.

    “apocalyptic cream-sickle.”

    if that, and the camel toe imagery doesn’t get me into the hall of fame, nothing will.

    anon- i’d be honored.

  8. wow…. i just did a google image search for ‘Camel Toe’…… interesting

  9. Mooselini and camel toe in the same thought is a crime against humanity, but you mostly made up for it by including the greatest toy ever invented.

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