Give My Regards to Sarah Palin
Sarah Palin, according to the Eeeleet Medi-uh… is-
Opposed to Political Correctness
and from my perspective- that’s Fantastically Great Fucking Fox News.
As of today, I shall be removing the Oh So Cumbersome “Chromosomally Challenged” characterization from my World Renowned, Much Loved, Oft Fretted Over, and All Around Lust Inducing Lexicon, and replacing it with the more user friendly (But Equally Effective, and Alliterative)-
Straight No Chaser.
Done it like a Man Done it.
To be honest, I never understood all the Hubbub anyway.
After all, only a fool would attempt to say-
Don’t worry, Bill, those gloves are made from halocarbon. They’re Flame ChromosomallyChallengedant.
Not only is it damn near impossible, it doesn’t make any Fucking Sense.
Surely Sarah understands, and will Loosen Up.
Shit. Don.t. Hold. Your. Breath.
Unless you happen to be a Palindrone, then, by all means, Hold Your Breath. In fact, forget holding your breath. Too easy to cheat. A Rope is much more Effective (WInk, WInk, Nod, Nod. You Betcha!)
Please. With Lipstick on tOp.
(By the by, I want credit for “Palindrone.” My sense of Civic Duty has its limits, dear readers. After all, I already gave you Wingnuttia, Wingnuttery, Wingnunnery, Junk Limbaugh, the Carebear, and Sanctimonious Cunt free of charge. I’m almost certain Sainthood is in the Proverbial Bag).
As I was saying, the odds of the Vermicious Knid complying ain’t exactly favorable. Bitch’s lack of concern for the General Well Being of, well, Beings, is only rivaled by Sweeney Todd’s Straight Razor.
Of course, that isn’t her role. Is it? She’s no “Nurturer,” which would be a sure sign of Surrender to that Gaggle of Elitist East Coast Sissified Pussies Hellbent on Handing Over America’s Cod Piece to the Highest Bidder.
No, siree. Don’tcha Know?!!
She’s Feminized Ultra-Violence.
the FASCIST superwoman.
Her Camel Toe
the outline of Butcher’s Shears.
Her birth canal the latest refuge for the White Man’s Rage.
purveyor of Disingenuous Revenge-
from Polystyrene Soapbox.
she Feigns Outrage.
Enemies of the State!!
and make no mistake, kind readers-
they believe her. need her. worship her.
her coal black, blow up doll eyes-
fire the furnaces of their rage.
a promise of Eternal War-
and a Return to Glory.
Long Live the
but as with everything else, her claims of PUrity are
nothing more than
the promise of an Alcoholic Father.
her gene SeQUenCe
an Androgynous Batman
to Malkin’s Buck Toothed, Bleating, Ethnically Endowed Robin.
the contents of her brassiere-
an Apocalyptic Cream-sickle
Cynically pre-packaged for