The Butthead of Rigel 7

Today, The Pornstache uses his incredible brain powers to tell Mexico what is wrong with it, and concludes that there are three types of Mexicans: the Narcos, the Nos, and the Naftas. It’s a Goofus and Gallant world, hot and flat, that The Pornstache lives in. Let’s join him, shall we?

  • The Narcos are the bad Mexicans. They have turned to a life of crime.
  • The Nos are Mexicans that are opposed to privatizing goods and services delivered to them by their government. This includes their very successful Pemex oil company, the one bright light in Mexico. Interestingly, The Pornstache calls them the conservatives, even though he says they mostly work for the government and are in unions.
  • The Naftas are the good Mexicans who are working for companies “spawned by NAFTA.” That is, they work for the Americans. They have given their children anglicized names like “Elizabeth, Evelyn, Abigail, Karen, Marilyn and Jaqueline, and for boys Alexander, Jonathan, Kevin, Christian and Bryan.” Friedman does mention their futures, all the little Jackies and Johnnies of Mexico: Wal-Mart de Mexico is expected to open 300 new stores in Mexico this year, thanks to growing Mexican demand for consumer goods.

What Friedman glosses over is why there are the Narcos, and oddly never mentions that these are the people who have only been able to make a living in the narcotics trade. Seems obvious, but he does not provide an answer as to why. NAFTA took away their way of life when the US literally invaded their country and dumped our taxpayer subsidized agriculture on them. They were farmers before, but no one would buy their crops which could not compete against the cheaper corn flooding Mexico from the US. Farmers farm, and so the crops changed, and the border drug wars ensued.

So the Narcos and the Nos should become good little US employees, and work for Wal-Mart. It would be good for Mexico. So sayeth The Pornstache.

(Narcos, No’s and Nafta, by Thomas Friedman)

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~ by tengrain on May 2, 2010.

5 Responses to “The Butthead of Rigel 7”

  1. Well, US manufacturers needed cheaper labor (this was before China opened up) so putting all of those farmers out of business was their only recourse. But once China opened up, an even cheaper supply of labor became available. Mexican low skill manufacturing jobs went to China (along with a fresh batch of American jobs) leaving those farmers without jobs. So they either had to join the lucrative, but dangerous, narco industry or sneak across the border for jobs that couldn’t be outsourced (landscaping, meat packing, construction, etc) but needed reduced labor costs.

  2. I’m sick of low quality mexican meth flooding the market here. They also need to do something about the Marijuana…it’s bringing down the prices for high quality smoke. Now they have the nerve to grow it in California and sell it back to us. Lets invade…oh yeah, they already have a McDonalds. We don’t totally win…see?

  3. everybody knows the mexicans is here to overthrow the whiteman by forcing us into eating chimichangas, and speaking mexican.

    before ya know it, they’ll replace the eagle with the jalapeno, and the star spangled banner with “livin’ la vida loca.”

  4. Thanks, Fairlane!

    mmmmmmm chimichangas……

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